Just Another Day in Obama's America

In less than two terms, Barrack Obama has issued 167 executive orders, putting him on pace to eclipse the record for the most ever penned by a president.  His abuse of the separation of powers between the executive office and the legislative branch are clear signs of what's ahead for the nation.  For instance:

WASHINGTON, D.C.:  President Obama today delayed full implementation of his signature health care reform law until 2065. The nation's chief executive claimed the moratorium was needed to allow those currently enrolled in the health care plan enough time to find a doctor.  Obama promised those who are currently married to doctors could keep their doctors.

WASHINGTON, D.C.: President Obama today expanded the U.S. Supreme Court to 25 justices, calling the current judicial make-up too confining.  In making the announcement, the president challenged the Senate to give blanket approval to his court nominees without hearings.   "Republicans lost the presidential election, so they have no right to object to my selections," Obama told reporters.

WASHINGTON, D.C.:  President Obama today declared Mexico the 51st state and demanded that border fences be removed by sundown.  He said the move did not need Congressional or Mexico's approval because more than 11 million Mexicans living illegally in the United States had requested immediate action. "If Congress won't act on immigration, then I have no option left but to make it easier for more Mexicans to be reunited with their families in the U.S.," Obama

WASHINGTON, D.C.:  President Obama signed an executive order giving Americans the right to marry household pets and decreed that the federal government will grant benefits to the couples.  Obama warned he would abolish any religions that refused to recognize pet-human marriages.  "This is the greatest civil rights issue of the ages," Obama told an audience at the Westminster Dog Show.

WASHINGTON, D.C.:  President Obama notified Congress today that he had added a third legislative branch of government to be known as the House of Puppets.  The nation's leader confirmed the members of the new chamber would be hand-picked from his campaign list of bundlers, donors and union thugs. Obama explained the third branch was needed to offset Republican obstructionism in the House and Senate.

WASHINGTON, D.C.: President Obama today revealed plans to require every American business to hire at least 1,000 hardened criminals after thousands were released in California as that state emptied its prisons to help solve its budget crisis.  "This administration does not have to wait for Congress to do what's right for the disenfranchised," Obama said.  The president added that the criminals would be immediately eligible to vote, hold elective office, carry guns and receive free college tuition.

WASHINGTON, D.C.:  Speaking from the rose garden outside the White House, President Obama today ordered the military to require male and female soldiers to wear camouflage bras in an effort to erase what he called the "gender bias" that exists in every branch of the armed services.  Obama said Vice President Joe Biden would hold daily inspections to insure compliance with the executive fiat.

WASHINGTON, D.C. President Obama today dispensed with elections for federal offices in 2016 because many states have approved laws that require voters to have a pulse.  "This is just a way to deny minority voters the right to vote," Obama told a packed news conference.  The president also urged the Electoral College to declare Hillary Clinton to be his successor by acclamation.  "People have better things to do than vote," Obama rationalized.

WASHINGTON, D.C.  On his last day in office, President Obama signed a deed of trust transferring ownership of the state of Hawaii to his family.  Obama termed the decision a "matter of fairness and justice." After eight years in the White House, the president said he needed a place to recuperate from the arduous task of running the United States government without Congress "ever lifting a finger."