Monday, December 29, 2014

Top Ten Predictions For 2015

For those of you who need something to worry about in 2015, a lone forecaster is predicting the Icelandic volcano Bardarbunga is about to experience a cataclysmic eruption.  The earth-shattering blast will cloak Europe with toxic sulphur dioxide gases that will alter the continent's weather patterns.

As a result of the climate change, crops across Europe will suffer crippling loses.  That will lead to a doubling of grain prices worldwide, according to the soothsayer.  Of course, this could just be another outlandish prediction that will be buried in the ash heap of prophetic rubbish.

But that's part of the allure of forecasting.  Most people will have forgotten the annual predictions by the time February dawns on the calendar.  Secure in that knowledge, your faithful scribe issues his annual predictions for the coming year:

1.  Oil prices continue their downward spiral for at least the first quarter, slowing energy production and  hampering economic growth, but the overall impact will be mitigated somewhat by increases in consumer spending.  Some states, especially Texas and North Dakota, will be hurt by declining job growth.  However, retail sales tick upward before gas prices begin rising in the third quarter.

2. Continuing problems in Europe and China hinder U.S. economic expansion as trade erodes and the dollar strengthens.  For the seventh straight year, the country's Gross Domestic Product (GDP), a measure of economic activity, fails to reach 3.0 percent for the year, finishing at an annual rate of 2.5 percent.

3.  Stock prices continue their roller coaster ride, dipping to new lows, before eclipsing record highs as economic disruption becomes the new world order.  Tech stocks, after soaring for most of 2014, come thumping back to earth as overvaluations catch up with reality.  The market finishes on an uptick as blue chips once again find favor with investors and the Dow-Jones ends near 18,850.

4. The U.S. Supreme Court issues a 5-4 ruling slapping the hands of the Obama Administration for improperly providing tax credits to consumers who purchased health insurance through federal exchanges.  The decision is a blow to Affordable Care Act because the tax credits are considered key to the law's success.

5.  New housing starts fail to reach 500,000 in the new year as the Fed adjusts interest rates upward and mortgage lenders continue to tighten borrowing guidelines.  Not only will mortgage rates climb for borrowers, but the rising cost of building materials will make new homes more expensive, delaying purchases by millennials.

6.  With falling oil prices and a weak currency, Russia's economy nosedives into dangerous territory, fueling speculation the country will default on some loans.  President Putin, feeling like a cornered rat, covertly orchestrates terrorist threats at home designed to enhance his standing as a tough leader in times of crisis and uses the imbroglio to interfere in Belarus.

7.  The cyber warfare between North Korea and the United States escalates after hackers shutdown a major stock exchange.  The action follows cyber attacks on major U.S. online retailers that expose the weakness of security at business firms throughout the country. There are hints the Chinese government may be helping North Korea carry out the attacks.

8.  The Apple Watch debuts in 2015 and the device redefines the market for health related personal information.  The device works with apps that monitor blood pressure, heart rate and body temperature.  The watches begin showing up on the arms of out-patients after surgery so doctors can remotely monitor their recovery.

9.  Massachusetts Senator Elizabeth Warren, after declaring she had no intention to run for president, enters the Democratic race after presumptive front-runner Hillary Clinton stumbles.  Behind the scenes, President Obama's former campaign staffers join forces with Warren, further widening the rift between the Clintons and the Obamas.

10.  President Obama issues an executive order that imperils the building of the Keystone Pipeline after the newly-installed Republican Congressional majorities green light the long-stalled project.  The action precipitates a major constitutional battle between the executive and legislative branch that ends up on the doorstep of the Supreme Court.

These bold predictions notwithstanding, 2015 promises to be a year overflowing with surprises and seismic shifts in economies, governments and currencies.  Let not your hearts be troubled. Embrace change, languish in the moments of calm and find laughter in life's ever shifting currents.

Monday, December 22, 2014

Rudolph Seeing Red Over Santa's Treatment

Dear Santa Claus:

With Christmas days away, I wanted to lodge a protest on behalf of the other reindeer about your shabby treatment.  Your sleigh keeps getting bigger and heavier, just like your belly, yet our wages and benefits have not kept up with North Pole inflation.

Therefore, we formally demand that you call a vote for union representation.  Leaders of the NRA, that's the National Reindeer Association, will be contacting you soon.  You may have been able to tamp down last year's elf unionization efforts, but your reindeer won't be as easily intimidated.

I still recall that snowy night when you came to me, practically on your knees, begging me to lead your reindeer team.  But I saw right through your plea.  You only needed me because of my shinny red rose.  Before that evening, you had let the other reindeer bully me unmercifully on Twitter.

The final straw came last week when you gave into the cultural diversity crowd and changed Dancer's name to Muhammad to give Muslin kids a reindeer they could relate to.  Now he spends all day reading the Koran and posting hate messages on Facebook.  He refuses to work anymore and never bathes.

Pulling your sleigh has never been the glamorous job portrayed in Christmas fairy tales.  I have to don earmuffs to drown out your shrill shouts, urging us to go faster and faster.  I'd like to see you get your big old fat duff out of the driver's seat and try to tug that sleigh around the globe.

As the world's population has grown, so have the demands for toys.  Last year was awful because you decided to outsource toy production.  We must have made seven trips to China to pick up toys for American kids.  No wonder the elves tried to form a union.

As you know, last year we lost our Claus Health Benefits and were forced to sign up for Obamacare.  Donner can no longer see his regular doctor, who was the only reindeer specialist for miles and miles.   You promised Donner could keep his doctor.  Your name belongs on the Naughty List.

Reindeer still receive the minimum wage and no overtime.  Most of us have been in our positions for more than 70 years with no raise.  You and Mrs. Claus are in the One Percent Club, while we struggle to get by on wages fit for an animal.  Yeah, I know, a reindeer is technically an animal, but fair is fair.

There was an open revolt yesterday when you announced amnesty for the two reindeer that had slipped across the border to get jobs on the sleigh team.  Neither reindeer could speak English and they wanted free Obama cell phones before they agreed to do any work.  Bad Santa.  

Prancer reminded me to bring up your anti-gay slurs last Christmas.  None of us will forget the moment you yelled in exasperation at Prancer, "You look a little light on the hoof!"  After months of counseling, Prancer has finally been able to join the other reindeer in stud poker games.

On the other hand, Vixen remains traumatized from last year's journey. When she failed to pick up the pace on Christmas, you yelled at her and called her a skank.  In the aftermath, she lost so much weight that Sony Pictures cancelled her contract.  I hear the movie folks blamed her firing on North Korea.

I know you said it was just a coincidence, but the reindeer took notice when Mrs. Claus served venison for Thanksgiving.  Our nerves have been on edge ever since.   We might have overlooked the incident if little Nicky Claus hadn't erected a deer blind right next to the reindeer fraternal lodge.

Once upon a time Santa, you respected the rights of reindeer.  But lately you have taken to issuing executive orders without consulting the head reindeer.  That would be me.  You, Mr. Claus, are ignoring the clause in our North Pole Constitution that guarantees we reindeer make the laws.

This Christmas we need to hear more than just "Ho, Ho, Ho" from you. Reindeer lives matter.  We expect higher wages, improved benefits and a lighter workload.  If you can't deliver, then we won't either. You will be stuck with using the Post Office to deliver presents just in time for Easter.

Not my fault, Santa.  I'm a victim.  Pardon me, but my box of Cuban cigars just arrived.  I am thinking of having a single malt Scotch and a smoke on Christmas eve.  Enjoy your sleigh ride without me.  

This Buck Stops Here,

Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer

Monday, December 15, 2014

Sen. Feinstein's Tortuous, Biased Report

Perspective is a scarce commodity in these United States.  Too many Americans have forgotten that sickening feeling watching television video of the two airplanes demolish the Twin Towers in New York City.  They don't recall their piercing anguish, their frail helplessness, their fierce anger.

That day, September 11, 2001, will forever be etched in the memory of those who lost loved ones, friends and co-workers.  Nearly 3,000 Americans perished in the bloodiest attack on U.S. soil.  But apparently members of the Senate Intelligence Committee have developed amnesia about that day.

They have forgotten that within hours of the attacks, the Congress and the American people were up in arms, demanding retribution. Most leaders, including Democrats, felt the possibility of another attack was imminent.  With one voice, Americans besieged their government to protect the homeland.

Many in Washington, including Senator Diane Feinstein, clamored for answers on the failure of the intelligence apparatus to uncover the plot.  The Central Intelligence Agency was publicly flogged for dereliction of duty.  Americans implored their leaders to strike back swiftly at the enemy.

In this environment, the CIA and other intelligence agencies were thrust into a new battle against terror.  They had no roadmap, no previous experience with attacks on the homeland.  Urgency was the watchword.  Politicians implored the CIA to develop intelligence to prevent another attack.

By any measure, the intelligence community did its job.  But 13 years later, the Democrat-controlled Senate Intelligence Committee decided to rewrite history.  Under Sen. Feinstein's iron hand, the group issued a scathing critique of the CIA in a document the media gleefully dubbed The Torture Report.

The paper is nothing more than an armchair quarterback's assessment of the interrogation techniques employed by an intelligence agency under intense fire to produce results. The 6,000-page report is one-sided, incendiary and a gift to those jihadists who want to recruit terrorists to kill Americans.

Sen. Feinstein's motive was never to unearth the truth about the interrogation techniques used to extract information from battle-hardened terrorists.  If it had been, her band of Democrats on the committee would have interviewed CIA agents and detainees to learn their side of the story.

Instead, the partisan group spent five-years trolling through documents, sifting the most damaging details they could find to second-guess the use of enhanced interrogation. In a rush to release the report, Sen. Feinstein ignored pleas from her president and the secretary of state to delay making it public.

Her intent was to embarrass the CIA because she caught them snooping on her and the committee staff after leaks began appearing in the media.  Her vendetta extended to former President George Bush, the man Democrats like Feinstein still yearn to put on public trial for unleashing the CIA.

Her agenda also included wrapping up the report before she was replaced as the committee chairperson after the new Republican majority was ushered in the Senate.  The senator and President Obama longed for another opportunity to show the world how contrite America has become about its past.

But, for the most part, this was about a senator out for revenge.  The Californian was willing to put American lives in jeopardy to achieve her objectives.  Her document airing the agency's dirty laundry was hardly news, since Democrats had publicly complained about the CIA's use of torture for years.

Within hours of the release of The Torture Report, an independent publisher announced that a 528-page declassified summary would be available in bookstores before New Year's Day.   Sen. Feinstein thus cemented her legacy before she was replaced in the chairman's role.

Media coverage of the report was predictably sanctimonious.  News outlets, with few exceptions, relished the opportunity to whipsaw the intelligence community, former president Bush and Republicans.  But a couple of courageous Americans spoke out about the committee's hindsight.

Among them was Alan Dershowitz, a Harvard law professor and noted lawyer.  "Public opinion polls (at the time) showed a vast majority of Americans supporting the use of enhanced interrogation techniques if it would stop a terrorist attack," Dershowitz declared.

Former CIA Director Michael Hayden insisted that he had fully informed Sen. Feinstein and the committee about interrogation methods in 2006.  He denied misleading the committee, a charge the senator lobbed after Bush Administration officials complained Feinstein was aware of the tactics.  

Thirteen years after bloody September 11th, Sen. Feinstein and the other Democrats on her committee decided to play Monday Morning Quarterback.  However, their reconstruction failed to provide sufficient retrospective on the clear and present danger the country faced in the wake of the attacks.

Instead, Sen. Feinstein and the other cowardly Democrats performed a hatchet job on the CIA.  That may be the cruelest verbal torture ever heaped on the brave men and women who staff the intelligence agency.  For that, the senator and her rubber-stamp committee deserve the nation's everlasting scorn.  

Monday, December 8, 2014

Secret Unveiled: Obama's Letter To The Ayatollah

CLASSIFIED: Islamic Eyes Only

Dear Ayatollah:

As one Supreme Leader to another, let me be clear.  Under no circumstances should the contents of this letter be divulged.  If those Republican nitwits in my country knew I was writing to you, it would appear as if I was leaving Congress out of the diplomatic loop.  Like I care!  Ha-Ha.

I want to refrain from using the "N' word but I don't think it can be avoided.  (No, I'm not talking about THAT "n" word that every black rapper spouts.)  I refer to Nukes.  Those contemptible Israelis believe you are secretly building nuclear weapons.  My own super snoops at the CIA are of the same mind.

Let me be clear: I take you at your word when you say you have no plutonium.  Heck, when I asked my Vice President Joe Biden for his counsel, he thought plutonium was a planet.  But I digress. Anyone who dresses in a long robe and sports a beard has got to be trustworthy in my book.

By the way, ignore blow-dried John Kerry.  That guy flits in-and-out of countries without messing up a single hair on his oversized head.  I liked it better when disheveled Hillary Clinton was our secretary of state.  Now there was someone who looked like she had a lot of miles on her.

Here's the deal.  If you promise not to bomb my birthplace in Kenya, then I feel we can strike an agreement.  Just make sure you hide those nuclear enrichment facilities out of sight of the international inspectors.  It shouldn't be a problem.  Most of them are dependent on seeing eye dogs.

I know the mullahs over there might be skeptical of any deal with American infidels.  But remember I bow to every Muslin I meet.  I still recall the sweet sound of the call to evening prayers.  The real enemy is missionaries who want to convert everyone in Iran to Christianity. That is pure evil.

On another matter, it has come to my attention that your country launched the first test flight for a drone that was an exact replica of the U.S. model you captured in 2011.  I already have enough trouble with the Chinese ignoring American copyright laws.  I didn't think you'd stoop this low.

Just do me a favor.  When you are ready to arm the drones, check with me for a list of targets.  There are a whole lot of new Republicans headed to Washington.  If we can eliminate a sizable number before January, my party can retain the House and Senate. Elections are so overrated.

As a bonus, the American tech giant Apple is readying the launch of a new wearable device that tracks how far a person runs.  There are a lot of names being bandied about.  I could use my influence to get the company to call it iRan.  Cool, huh?

There is one last item on my agenda.  We need Iran's help in fighting the Islamic State or ISIS in Iraq.  I don't want to anger my shrinking party base by sending boots into Iraq.  If you could unleash your army to destroy ISIS, I would have more time to concentrate on the important stuff, like golf.

In exchange, I promise to continue to reduce the budget and the size of the American military.  I am thinking about sending every last soldier and seamen to Africa to fight Ebola as a way to take them out of the field of battle.  You would have nothing to fear from us except perhaps a viral infection.

In closing, I had to laugh the other day when I saw your tweet about how to take out Israel.  You don't need nuclear bombs for that.  My foreign policy is weakening their position in the Middle East every day. Just hang around another two years and you won't have to deal with the Jews except at the banks.

I remain America's Supreme Leader according to the two-thirds who didn't vote in the midterm elections.

Barrack Hussein Obama
President, the Divided States of America

Monday, December 1, 2014

Immigration Lies: The President In His Own Words

A scorned president has cauterized the simmering debate over immigration reform with an inflammatory speech followed by a ham-fisted executive fiat.  His words and his unilateral action have doomed any chances of forging a national consensus on this tumultuous issue.

In the wake of the impetuous president's decision, polls revealed a divided country over Obama's amnesty order.  By a 50-40 split, voters disapproved of the president's scheme, according to research released last week by Democratic polling firm Rasmussen Reports.

This immigration schism can only be bridged by compromise.  But this president has chosen contention over concession.  He is driven by revenge for the humiliation he suffered in the mid-terms.  His executive action was an opportunity to poke his finger in the eyes of incensed Republicans.

As the days have passed since his televised address, even ardent supporters of immigration reform are realizing the president's course offers only a temporary fix.  If his motivation was to goad Congress into enacting permanent legislation, he has seriously miscalculated the political ramifications.

But this president has always shunned the high road.  He prefers the rough politics of Chicago ward bosses where no opponent goes unpunished.  A re-reading of the transcript of his speech reveals a man willing to engage in disinformation and incendiary language to justify his action.

His address was aimed at branding Americans who believe in the rule of law as uncaring and heartless people.  In the president's own words, read his attempts at verbal manipulation:

"But today, our immigration system is broken and everyone knows it." This distortion has been repeated so many times, no one questions its veracity.  While some changes may be needed in the immigration process, the current system accommodated the largest influx of legal immigrants in the nation's history.  From 2005 to 2013, a total of 9,787,594 immigrants have obtained permanent residency status in the U.S.. according to the Department of Homeland Security.  This total represents the largest number of immigrants to gain residency in any nine-year period in American history.  America does not have a legal immigration problem, it has an illegal alien issue.

"Mass deportation would be both impossible and contrary to our character."  Not a single politician in either party has advocated deportation of the more than 11 million illegal aliens living in the U.S.  Yet the president continues to use his fabrication to scare immigrants into thinking they will be shipped home in shackles if the Republicans have their way.  Only Obama can save them from this fate.

"If you plan to enter the U.S. illegally, your chances of getting caught and sent back just went up." Figures from Immigrations and Customs Enforcement (ICE) show that deportations declined 19 percent from 2011 to 2012 and dropped another 22 percent last year. Despite these numbers, the Obama Administration has devised a clever method to calculate deportations that inflates the actual statistics.  Even the egregious number-rigging cannot hide the fact the administration freed 36,007 illegal aliens convicted of 88,000 crimes last year, ICE figures confirm.  This administration's has the worst record in history in dealing with illegal immigrants, including those with criminal records.

"Are we a nation that accepts the cruelty of ripping children from their parents arms?"  Please Mr. President, name one example.  No children are being snatched from their parents and exported back home.  In fact, at the end of last year there were 1.8 million illegal immigrants awaiting deportation, ICE figures show.  Illegal aliens play a waiting game that often ends with them ducking hearings while remaining in the U.S.

"I know some of the critics call it amnesty.  Well, its not." His order defers deportation of illegals, while allowing them to obtain permanent residency.  It is amnesty because despite entering the country illegally, the government is willing to spare aliens deportation and will not prosecute them for violating the laws of the country. That is amnesty under any name.

"The actions I'm taking are not only lawful, they're the kinds of actions taken by every single Republican President and every single Democratic president for the past half-century."  To make their point, the president and the obsequious media have drawn comparisons to President Reagan's executive action on immigration. However, it is a duplicitous analogy.  In 1986, Congress approved the Immigration Reform and Control Act that provided a path to legalization for millions of illegal aliens.  After the measure was passed and signed into law by President Reagan, he issued an executive order stalling deportation of non-citizens in more than 100,000 families not covered under the legislation.  Unlike Obama, Reagan acted after the legislative branch had approved a law. Obama chose to sidestep Congress and take unilateral action.

Neither comparisons to past presidents nor provocative rhetoric offer rationalization for President Obama's perversive abuse of executive power.  He has acted wantonly without fear of retribution from the courts, the media, the Congress or the American people.

Unilateral action has become his modus operandi and it is undermining the constitutional powers of the legislative branch. Unless the next Congress halts this erosion, the coming two years will see runaway growth of executive power under a president who thumbs his nose at the Constitution.