Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Unknown Announces Candidacy for President

Official Statement Issued June 25, 2019
By Drew A. Roy

Today I am announcing my candidacy for President. Notice I didn't use the bromide about "running" for the highest office.  At my age, I hope to be able to shuffle to the Oval Office.  If my hip doesn't improve, I may arrive on a motorized scooter.  People "running" for office are too vain to be elected.

I acknowledge there are already more candidates for the office of president than can be shoehorned into the Grand Canyon.  Do we really need another aspirant?  My answer is an unequivocal"maybe." Frankly, being addressed as "Mr. President" instead of "Hey, baldy" has so much personal appeal.

While that is the chief impetus behind my campaign, it is not the lone reason for my search for greatness.  I want to be rich.  Have you noticed that presidential candidates, even failed ones, collect millions writing books, making speeches and hawking their foundations?  I can't resist the money.

I admit not being thrilled at the prospect of living in Washington, D.C.  The nation's capitol has one of the highest crime rates in America compared to cities its size.  As friends know, I have a penchant for losing my wallet.  I don't need some thief adding to my misery by stealing a replacement.

Some members of the esteemed press may be wondering about my political affiliation.  I have none.  Party labels seem so old fashioned.  As a retired person, I have decided to start my own political group called the Prune People's Movement.  The moniker just oozes intellectual elitism.

Don't even waste time inquiring about my stance on the issues.  I am a former journalist who has heard a thousand ways to dodge media questions from politicians.  My stance on  illegal immigration?  "I want everyone to be happy."  See how easy it is?  I am the master of obfuscation.

Here's my campaign slogan: "There should be a chicken in every pot and a car in every garage."  (I admit I plagiarized that from a circular published by the GOP in 1928 to mock Herbert Hoover's campaign promises.) However, if you think about, it is the perfect platform for America's future.

Obesity is killing too many Americans and hiking health care costs.  Common sense dictates that voters need to eat more chicken instead of too much beef.  If I am elected, I will allow every American, even the six thin ones, to trade in their prime beef for a government rooster. 

And who couldn't use another automobile? I will use my pen to order Elon Musk to dispatch a new Tesla to every American.  Since the electric cars run on batteries, it will save the environment so I can scratch that issue off my worry list.  Two birds with one stone, we politicians call that.

Before a nosy television reporter asks, I am not going to sign some silly pledge promising not to tap lobbyists, corporations and foreign individuals for campaign funds.  A bunch of $5 checks from average Joe's are a waste and most will bounce anyway.  I need oodles of cash stuffed in duffel bags.

I don't want to end up with a bunch of campaign debt so I will not spend a dime on advertising, rallies or social media.  My message will strictly fly under the radar.  Drop by my house and I will give you an index card chocked full of bon mots of wisdom culled from self-help books I have digested.

Every candidate fears an opponent will dig up some dirt to sabotage their election chances.  So here are a few confessions: I ripped the tag off a few mattresses.  I once stole a fluffy robe from a ritzy hotel. I admit I once had an impure fantasy about Justice Ginsberg.  There.  It's all in the open.

To my opponents, let me make it clear I will run a smear-free campaign.  No outing of pictures in your yearbook.  No tweets about your spouse's ugly outfits.  No ads claiming you are killer or a Jets fan.  But woe to those who attack me or my family.  I will unleash the hounds of hell.

I count among my friends a former Army Ranger, who happens to be my brother in law.  He will parachute into your gated community, evade your armed security, scale the fence surrounding your mansion and lay waste to your immaculately manicured yard.  You have now been officially warned.

In addition to my talent for avoiding jail time,  I had a gift for selecting an incredible woman to be the First Lady.  Dianna is the perfect choice.  She is a decorating maven.  Already, she has plans to have the White House exterior painted the color of French champagne.  White is so boring. 

Since we both enjoy travel, as president I will reach out to other countries, especially those with exquisite cuisine.  Air Force One will be jetting us to France and Italy on our initial foreign policy foray.  I don't plan to visit many Asian countries, since I gag on fishy aquatic animals.

Finally, I want Americans who enter the voting booth in 2020, to pose this one question: "Do I prefer an honest unknown or some career politician who makes grand promises of free stuff?"  If people do that, I am certain that I will end up losing the election by something like 133 million votes.

Monday, June 17, 2019

The American Job Machine Purring

Nattering nabobs of negativism cloaked in coats of doom croaked like frogs when the American jobs figures were released this month.  The economy added "only" 75,000 jobs in May, they grouched.  Ersatz economists, media carpers and political pundits forecast the demise of the economic revival.

The scale of deliberate deception would make Herr Joseph Goebbels blanch.  Despite the collaborative clamor, rumors of the death of the economic recovery are greatly exaggerated.  If you doubt it, spend a few minutes delving behind the job numbers.  No media person will do it.

As a primer, job additions are a popular test of the country's economic health published monthly by the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS).  It tracks the total number of people being paid for work.  Often it is misinterpreted as a measurement of how many jobs industry and government created.

With that perspective, scrutiny of the May data reveals a very different interpretation than what has been offered by the cynical skeptics.  Here is an abbreviated version of what is happening: America is running out of qualified workers for an expanding number of jobs.  

The data confirms the economy is soaking up most of the labor pool, including many who had given up looking for jobs. In the last 12 months, the number of involuntary part-time workers has declined by 565,000.  That means people who were forced to work part-time, have found full-time jobs.

Since the end of the 2016, the unemployment rolls have thinned by 1,667,000 in 17 months.  The unemployment rate at the end of May stood at 3.6 percent, the lowest in 49-years. Unemployment for minorities, African-Americans (6.2%) and Hispanics (4.2%) are at historic troughs.

Only one demographic continues to experience stubbornly high unemployment: teens aged 16-19.  Unemployment averages 12 percent.  It is no coincidence they are the least educated and most unskilled in the labor force.  Fewer job opportunities exist for this group in the new economy. 

The government calculates there were 7.4 million job openings at the end of April, the latest available data.  It marks 14 consecutive months with more job openings than unemployed people.  Further evidence that there are just not enough workers to take advantage of the sonic boom in jobs.

The Labor Participation Rate, a measurement of the people aged 16-to-64 employed or seeking work, has nudged up to 62.8 percent, compared to 62.4 percent at the end of 2016.  Robust hiring has increased the size of the American workforce by 395,000 in 17 months.

According to BLS statistics, the economy has added 5,892,000 jobs since 2016.  During the previous eight years (96 months), job growth was 10,389,000.  This is an apples-to-apples comparison because the same government data source was used to calculate both figures.

To comprehend job additions, it helps to understand the derivation of the number.  The BLS tallies total hires and subtracts the job separations, which includes layoffs, firings, retirements, and employee resignations.  Total separations have remained flat while hiring has expanded.

Prophets of doom rushed to judgment on May figures.  Logically, it is an aberration.  The average monthly measure since the first of the year has averaged 164,000 jobs.  Historically, job growth figures between 100,000 and 150,000 represent a positive trend for the economy. 

The denizens of darkness have seeded the media with propaganda that low-skilled workers have been left behind.  The New York Federal Reserve has reported that for the first time in decades, it is harder to find blue-collar workers than white-collar prospects.  Low-skilled workers are in demand.

May wages for non-supervisory workers jumped 3.4 percent.  This marks the 10th consecutive month of rising pay after a dismal stretch of eight years when wage raises never attained the three percent level.  Wages rose for workers in hotels, restaurants and retail, traditional low-paying jobs.

The chronic complainers incorrectly claim job openings are mostly low wage opportunities.  Not according to the New York Fed.  Their data validates that average starting wage for full-time employees hiked from $58,035 last November to $66,415 in March, the most recent figures.

In review, job creation is pulsing.  Unemployment is sinking.  Wages are swelling.  Labor participation is ascending.  More people are joining the workforce.  More jobs are going unfilled, because hirings are depleting the labor pool.  So what's the beef about May's one-month snapshot?

The current economic surge has proven beyond a doubt that everyone, the under employed and professionals, benefit from roaring growth.  Unlike wealth redistribution and government handouts,  economic prosperity fuels competition for employees, which advantages all American workers.

Monday, June 10, 2019

Are Adults Ruining Sports for Youngsters?

For more than a decade, the number of young people playing sports has trickled downward.  The data indicates the skid can be traced to the increasing pressure that kids feel in organized athletics at all levels.  This tension is created by adults--coaches and parents--obsessed with winning at any cost.

Athletic participation for kids ages 6-12 has fallen 8 percent over the last decade despite a growing population, according to a study by the Sports and Fitness Industry Association and the Aspen Institute. Nearly 45 percent of youngsters played sports in 2008, compared to 37 percent in 2017.

All the major sports--football, baseball, basketball and soccer--have experienced downdrafts in participation.  Little League baseball reports its programs are down 6.8 percent. Pop Warner Football, the country's largest youth program, has lost a total of 9.5 percent of its players.

The statistics for high school sports participation offer a glimmer of hope.  The most recent study conducted by National Federation of State High School Associations logged hikes in sports participation for the 28th consecutive year, primarily because of the steep rise in female numbers.

The survey showed girl participants reached an all-time high in the 2016-2017 year.  However, despite overall growth in student enrollment at the nation's high schools, participation by boys in athletics was flat. And participation in football continued a steady downward trend.

Some blame parents' growing fear of concussions as the reason for this development.  The movie "Concussion" featuring brain diseased NFL players certainly stirred awareness of the risks.  That may be a factor, but it doesn't explain adequately why participation in all sports has dwindled.

Before many youngsters even reach high school, they are dropping out of organized sports.  Data shows that 70 percent of children leave competitive programs by the time they are 13-years old.  The research clarifies the issue of the decrease in participation by male high school athletes.

The culprit is the pressure heaped on young athletes by their parents and adult coaches.  Study after study has documented that youths' self-esteem is often damaged.  Burn-out is another factor in declining interest in sports, especially for talented kids who play a single sport year-round.

One national study found 42 percent of youngsters reported that coaches pressured them to stay in sports, despite their desire to leave.  Kids just want to experience enjoyment. Too many coaches are invested in winning, no matter the consequences for the young players.

Research by the University of Notre Dame's Center for Ethical Education sheds light on the disconnect between young people and the culture of organized sports.  According to the report, the number one reason youngsters play sports is to "have fun."  Each year it is the top choice.

In addition, kids want to "do something they are good at"; "improve their skills"; "exercise and stay in shape"; "be part of a team"; and, experience the "excitement of competition."  Isn't it illuminating that youngsters do not mention "winning" among their top reasons for playing?

Being No. 1 is part of the American culture.  There is nothing perverse about winning.  However, it is toxic when it becomes the overarching aspiration for young players, especially those aged 6-to-12.  It leads to unfair criticism of kids, low self esteem and promotes the benching of less talented players.

As a youth sports coach for more than 15 years, I can personally attest to the parental demands for excellence from their kids and the bullying by some adult coaches.  Parents do not ask if a kid enjoyed the game, their first question is: "Did you win?"  It reinforces what's really important.

I have witnessed coaches scream at the top of their lungs at kids as young as six years old for errors on the baseball field or missed shots on the basketball court.  Youth organizations always preach participation for all, but the coaches ignore the principle because of their compulsion for winning.

I have felt the sting of this mania.  One year I coached a team that came within one game of winning the championship.  Some parents grumbled that playing all the kids cost us a title.  Next year many parents jerked their children from our roster to satisfy their own neurosis for a trophy season.

A critical problem is that parents see their kids through unrealistic lenses.  They dream their  youngster will star in high school, earn a college scholarship and start on a pro team.  The reality is only one-in-one-thousand high schoolers receive a football scholarship and most of those are partial.

High schoolers have a better chance of winning the lottery than becoming a pro athlete.  A meager 8 in 10,000 high school players will be drafted by the National Football League. Only 1.6 percent of college football players are signed by pro teams. The odds are similar for baseball and basketball.

With those low prospects, you wonder why parents and coaches set the bar so high for young athletes.  Their expectations are quixotic.  If the nation wants to change the culture of organized youth sports, it has to confront parents and coaches about what's best for the development of kids.

At young ages, the priority should be to make sports upbeat.  No one needs to keep score of games for kids aged 5-to-8.  The objective should be to teach children discipline, improve their skills, emphasize teamwork, build character and give everyone equal playing time, regardless of talent.

Many late bloomers get discouraged early because coaches are bent on winning games, feeding their own egos instead of nurturing kids.  If America wants more youths to play sports, then parents need to get serious about insisting a new culture for the organizations that run youth programs.

Most importantly, parents need to be supportive of their kids, less interested in winning at early ages, and wary of hyper aggressive coaches.  Although kids are not equally talented, they all deserve an opportunity to play competitive sports for recreation and the sheer enjoyment. 

Monday, June 3, 2019

75th Anniversary of D-Day Invasion

Thick clouds greeted soldiers in the predawn hours of June 6, 1944, as they geared up for the largest seaborne invasion in history.  The assault on the French coast had been deferred once.  Another delay might jeopardize the surprise attack on unsuspecting German forces across the English Channel. 

A grave General Dwight D. Eisenhower, commander of the allied forces, somberly issued the order to launch the massive armada assembled in Great Britain.  His forces included 1,213 warships, 4,127 landing craft, 23,000 airborne troops, 12,000 allied aircraft and 132,000 soldiers and sailors.

The invasion, codenamed Operation Overlord, struck at 6:30 a.m. when amphibious landing craft thumped ashore on Utah and Omaha beaches off the Normandy coast.  Choppy seas capsized several steel vessels. Weighed down by equipment, soldiers drowned. Others lost weapons and ammunition.

Germans, hidden in fortified bunkers above the beach, loosed a firestorm of bullets. American soldiers instantly died the second their feet touched the sand. The Germans turned the beaches into a ferocious killing zone.  Soon the sea was an ugly shade of red from the blood of soldiers.

Only two of the 29 amphibious tanks launched at sea limped ashore.  The losses forced General Omar Bradley to briefly consider scrapping the entire operation.  But then gritty teenaged soldiers began advancing inch-by-bloody-inch toward the cliff below the impenetrable German pillboxes.

U.S. Army Rangers scaled the cliffs and overran the Nazi positions.  The battle began to turn for the allies. Navy warships maneuvered perilously close to shore and shelled German fortifications.  By nightfall the Americans had gained a foothold, 1.5 miles deep into French territory.

The evening before the landings mushroom canopies of parachutes dotted the French skies as allied planes dropped thousands of paratroopers behind enemy lines under the cover or darkness.  Bombers blew up bridges, railways and roads to prevent German reinforcements from reaching Normandy.

The trapped Germans refused to surrender.  As a result, the fighting raged for weeks until the enemy was annihilated.  It was a crushing blow to the German war machine and hastened the end of the Nazi reign of terror in Europe.  But both sides paid a costly price in the violent campaign.

The average daily casualty rate during the 77 days of battle was 6,675 men.  Total deaths for Operation Overlord reached 425,000 for both both sides.  The Allied count was 209,000.  More than 15,000 French civilians entangled in the crossfire perished during the fierce firefight.

D-Day remains a symbol of patriotic sacrifices on the altar of freedom.  Omaha Beach was the scene of the bloodiest combat, where 2,400 Americans were slaughtered, wounded or missing.  Their  heroism has been captured on grainy old films, retold in movies and immortalized in military lore.

Today the Normandy American Cemetery and Memorial towers above Omaha Beach, located in the French village of Colleville-sur-Mer. The cemetery's 172-acre tribute to allied bravery contains the graves of 9,380 allied servicemen.  Many of those died on the serene beach below on D-Day.

Rows and rows of alabaster-white crosses bearing the names of soldiers fan out in all directions.  Visitors maintain an respectful hush as they stroll the grounds.  There are monuments, a bronze statue and a small circular chapel for those seeking quiet reflection on the loss of so many young lives.

Having stood on this sacred ground, I particularly recall the chilling sight of gazing down from this promontory to Omaha Beach.  I realize the American soldiers were sitting ducks for the German guns positioned on higher ground.  Soldiers had no cover, nowhere to hide.  The memory haunts me.

This June 6 scores of courageous veterans who battled the Germans will return to mark the 75th anniversary of D-Day.  Most are now in their 90's or even 100's.  They are frail, their bodies surrendering to age.  But with the aid of a cane or wheelchair they will trudge to the French coast.

Many were in the teens 75 years ago when they were ordered to achieve the impossible.  They deserve our everlasting gratitude.  Without these brave souls and their fallen comrades, the war could not have been won.  They have earned the right to be enshrined as America's Greatest Generation.