A road trip to the Grand Canyon. A cruise to the Bahamas. A private jet to Africa for a safari. All sound mundane when compared to a boarding a beast of a rocket and roaring into space. However, it likely will set you back $52 million, a mere pittance for my many billionaire readers.
Serial entrepreneur Elon Musk, the electric car mogul, unveiled plans this year to launch a new Starship rocket into space in 2021 carrying a "small number" of passengers. It will likely go to the edge of space, but not to the moon. But what did you expect for $52 million? Free peanuts?
Another billionaire, Richard Branson, has launched Virgin Galactic, a firm in New Mexico dedicated to making commercial space flights a reality in the not too distant future. Branson has been more judicious than Musk, eschewing a launch date. Estimated fares are a bargain: $250,000 per person.
A handful of private citizens have already experienced the thrill of a space junket. Space Adventures brokered flights from 2001 to 2009 for seven tourists aboard a Russian Soyuz spacecraft that shuttled the passengers to the International Space Station, floating about 220 miles above Earth.
The published price for the voyage was between $200 and $250 million, although many paid less. Depending on your credit card limit, the price tag could easily be within your financial grasp. Think of posting a selfie on Instagram, your beaming face captured inside the space station. Priceless.
At this juncture, some of you are probably thinking: "Yeah, but I could fly Southwest Airlines to Witcha, Kansas, for a lot less." True. But when a friend asks where you vacationed, do you think a visit to Witcha will have the same cache as a space voyage? Don't think so. Think big.
Fancy you are at a neighborhood party. The smug nuclear scientist who lives next door drones on about new discoveries and nerdy things like subatomic particles. That's when you casually drop in the conversation: "I didn't see sub-whatever particles on my space trip." All eyes will shift to you.
You invite everyone over to your home. Every inch of wall space is festooned with photos of you in space. All those pictures of your smiling kids have been banished to the closet. Envious neighbors gawk at the photographs. You have displaced the nuclear scientist as the neighborhood celebrity.
I admit that I am entertaining the idea of taking out a fourth mortgage on my home to pay for a space vacation. My only concerns are that I am a nervous flyer and I am afraid of heights. But surely for $52 million stewardesses will hand out the anxiety drug Diazepam along with the pretzels.
The scariest moment will be when the rocket thunders off the launchpad, shuddering, trembling as it struggles to break the grasp of Earth's gravity. Passengers will experience a maximum of three times the force of gravity. Imagine being flattened against your seat, unable to move or sip Perrier.
Of course, I will need an aisle seat on the spacecraft for my frequent trips to the restroom. I refuse to use one of those gross devices inside a spacesuit. Yuck. For the price, there should be a nice facility onboard with scented towels and free combs. If I wanted to rough it, I could have gone camping.
Since it will be a long rocket ride, I am hoping there will be inflight entertainment. Movies such as "First Man," "Martian" and "2001: A Space Odyssey" designed to heighten our anticipation for the voyage. Surely Musk wouldn't dare show, "Apollo 13," a near space disaster for America.
No tiny little screens for the movies. This is costing a fortune so I am expecting a honking big screen 4K television at each seat. I would be like the old drive-in movies. A touch of the past on a vacation of the future. What could be better? I know. Popcorn. And Milk Duds.
Packing for the space vacation would be a snap. It is not like formal jackets will be required for dinner, like on those snooty ocean cruises. Wouldn't it be cool if Ralph Lauren designed the spacesuits? No tacky white paraphernalia. Fashion shouldn't have to be sacrificed in space.
And please, no ready-to-eat meals. Who eats canned food even on Earth? Hire a French chef to prepare gourmet dishes. I know a gas stove might be considered a fire hazard on a spacecraft. But a solar powered one would work just fine. Food allergies? Tough. It's space. You'll be fine.
At this point, I bet many of you are already daydreaming of contacting your travel agent. You are done with banal vacations. It will be worth it. And there is no coronavirus virus in space, so no worries about having to change your plans. Surely, that makes it worth $52 million.
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