Faced with a firestorm of public protests, Homeland Security Secretary Janet (Big Sis) Napolitano plans to issue a new set of airport screening procedures for TSA agents. Your faithful scribe obtained a secret copy of the changes, which are shared now before Wikileaks publishes it along with the plans for the Russian invasion.
ATTENTION: TSA AGENTS
Effective today, the following guidelines apply for the pat-down of passengers at all American airports, including the Republic of California:
1. Share a cigarette with passengers after each pat-down to assure them it was a mutually pleasant experience.
2. Refrain from using the word "but" during each pat-down, lest you be misunderstood.
3. If a female passenger refuses a pat-down, offer her a few cocktails, which usually gets rid of inhibitions.
4. You may grope male passengers during a pat-down, but assure them you "won't ask, if they don't tell."
5. Male agents should not pat-down female passengers, unless they are particularly well endowed.
6. After each pat-down, agents may offer passengers a free colon exam while they are waiting for their flight.
7. TSA agents should limit each pat-down to one hour, unless the passenger seems to be enjoying the procedure.
8. While patting down a passenger's groin area, please be respectful and do not ask for home phone numbers until the person has passed through the security area.
9. When running your hands over a female passengers legs, it is irresponsible to suggest the person get reacquainted with a razor.
10. Do not offer to sell full body x-rays of passengers to other TSA agents unless no one is looking.
By following these simple guidelines, you will make the airport screening experience much more enjoyable for the traveling public. As with any policy, there are a few "don'ts" you must observe, including:
1. Don't detain any bearded Imam shouting, "Death to America," unless you have reason to believe he might secretly be a Republican in drag.
2. Don't indulge in profiling, but do require pat-downs for underage children, 80-year old women and American military service men and women in uniform.
3. Don't pat-down Muslin women because your hands will wrinkle their burkas.
4. Don't ask embarrassing questions of passengers holding ink jet cartridges, sporting platform shoes and wearing wired underwear.
5. Don't consult the "No Fly" list because it will just confuse you in carrying out your assigned duties.
6. Don't display your copy of the Koran while you are on duty because people may assume the President is a Muslin.
7. Don't look anyone in the eye, especially if the passenger is unduly nervous, sweating profusely or incessantly fidgeting.
8. Don't open a passengers luggage if there is a sticker on the suitcase reading, "Fly Martyr Airlines."
9. Don't ask for identification of any passenger who claims to have voted for President Obama because he has already suffered enough humiliation.
10. Don't forget to remind passengers to have a "safe" and "tingly" flight after each pat-down.
Janet Incompolitano
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
No Closure on Foreclosures for Taxpayers
If you thought the housing mess was damping economic recovery, be warned that foreclosures will soon crater the real estate market. That may sound too alarmist for your tastes, but the facts suggest the coming tide of foreclosures will fuel another economic crisis likely to overshadow anything the country has witnessed.
Worst of all, the billions of taxpayer dollars spent by the Obama Administration to address the foreclosure problem have made only a tiny dent in the problem. By the Treasury Department's own admission, the Home Affordable Modification Program (HAMP) has not worked as foreclosures have steadily mounted, despite the massive bailout. The price tag for this failed government experiment is $50 billion.
Even that figure does not include the $148 billion the Treasury has invested in the government's version of Dumb and Dumber: Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Taxpayers have footed the bill for the mismanagement of these government-owned mortgage giants for more than two years. Although their losses have narrowed, taxpayers may have to come up with as much as $259 billion to stave off bankruptcy, according to the Federal Housing Finance Agency.
But the news only gets worse. Fannie Dumb and Freddie Dumber now own more than 240,000 foreclosed homes, as of September 30. That's more than twice as many foreclosed homes as they owned a year ago. In addition to the bailout money that's propping up the two lenders, the terrible twins have doled out more than $2 billion of your hard earned dollars to maintain more than $24 billion in foreclosed properties they own. The longer they own the properties, the higher the final bill for cleaning, maintenance, insurance, taxes and legal fees.
Those properties are likely to take many months if not years to sell. Freddie Dumber admitted recently that the sales of these foreclosed home could be prolonged by something no one in government or the media want to talk about.
The attorneys general of all 50 states have ganged up to challenge foreclosure filings by some of the country's biggest lenders, including government-owned GMAC Mortgage, Wells Fargo, J.P Morgan and a host of others. The states claim there have been defects in the documents submitted by the lenders to force foreclosure. While that issue is being litigated, the foreclosure legal machine has ground to a halt.
What that means is a glut of foreclosures are sitting in limbo. Some estimate the number is likely 200,000 or more foreclosures. Those on both sides of the issue are disputing the paper work involved in the foreclosure process. Hardly anyone is suggesting that most homeowners will not end up losing their property, even after the document faux pas is rectified.
Once those fifty attorneys general get their pound of flesh from the lenders, what do you think will happen to all those foreclosed homes the banks and mortgage firms are holding? No doubt, the property will be dumped on the market, further depressing real estate prices and adding to the already bloated inventory.
But don't take my word for it. The CEO of RealtyTrac, the leading online marketer of foreclosure properties, recently offered a somber warning. James Saccacio said if the foreclosure documentation issues are not resolved quickly, it would have a "chilling effect on the overall housing market."
Saccacio's cautionary caveat was part of the firm's U.S. Foreclosure Market Report for the third quarter. According to the report, there were 372,445 properties auctioned in the country during the quarter, the highest in the history of the firm's tracking. Bank repossessions also set a record in the third quarter, totalling 288,345 properties.
Think you've heard the worst of this sorry story? No way. Even before this embargo on foreclosures, banks and mortgage firms were already hoarding notices, waiting for the glut of foreclosures to dissipate before dumping more houses on the market. There are no available estimates on how many foreclosures are primed to be pumped into the pipeline, but it could be hundreds of thousands more. The results could be catastrophic for the real estate market.
Foreclosures are the economic beast no one in government wants to tame. However, the taxpayers are about to have their pockets picked again by Washington if nothing is done to manage the looming foreclosure nightmare. As each day passes without any action, the opportunity to avoid the crisis becomes more remote.
Worst of all, the billions of taxpayer dollars spent by the Obama Administration to address the foreclosure problem have made only a tiny dent in the problem. By the Treasury Department's own admission, the Home Affordable Modification Program (HAMP) has not worked as foreclosures have steadily mounted, despite the massive bailout. The price tag for this failed government experiment is $50 billion.
Even that figure does not include the $148 billion the Treasury has invested in the government's version of Dumb and Dumber: Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Taxpayers have footed the bill for the mismanagement of these government-owned mortgage giants for more than two years. Although their losses have narrowed, taxpayers may have to come up with as much as $259 billion to stave off bankruptcy, according to the Federal Housing Finance Agency.
But the news only gets worse. Fannie Dumb and Freddie Dumber now own more than 240,000 foreclosed homes, as of September 30. That's more than twice as many foreclosed homes as they owned a year ago. In addition to the bailout money that's propping up the two lenders, the terrible twins have doled out more than $2 billion of your hard earned dollars to maintain more than $24 billion in foreclosed properties they own. The longer they own the properties, the higher the final bill for cleaning, maintenance, insurance, taxes and legal fees.
Those properties are likely to take many months if not years to sell. Freddie Dumber admitted recently that the sales of these foreclosed home could be prolonged by something no one in government or the media want to talk about.
The attorneys general of all 50 states have ganged up to challenge foreclosure filings by some of the country's biggest lenders, including government-owned GMAC Mortgage, Wells Fargo, J.P Morgan and a host of others. The states claim there have been defects in the documents submitted by the lenders to force foreclosure. While that issue is being litigated, the foreclosure legal machine has ground to a halt.
What that means is a glut of foreclosures are sitting in limbo. Some estimate the number is likely 200,000 or more foreclosures. Those on both sides of the issue are disputing the paper work involved in the foreclosure process. Hardly anyone is suggesting that most homeowners will not end up losing their property, even after the document faux pas is rectified.
Once those fifty attorneys general get their pound of flesh from the lenders, what do you think will happen to all those foreclosed homes the banks and mortgage firms are holding? No doubt, the property will be dumped on the market, further depressing real estate prices and adding to the already bloated inventory.
But don't take my word for it. The CEO of RealtyTrac, the leading online marketer of foreclosure properties, recently offered a somber warning. James Saccacio said if the foreclosure documentation issues are not resolved quickly, it would have a "chilling effect on the overall housing market."
Saccacio's cautionary caveat was part of the firm's U.S. Foreclosure Market Report for the third quarter. According to the report, there were 372,445 properties auctioned in the country during the quarter, the highest in the history of the firm's tracking. Bank repossessions also set a record in the third quarter, totalling 288,345 properties.
Think you've heard the worst of this sorry story? No way. Even before this embargo on foreclosures, banks and mortgage firms were already hoarding notices, waiting for the glut of foreclosures to dissipate before dumping more houses on the market. There are no available estimates on how many foreclosures are primed to be pumped into the pipeline, but it could be hundreds of thousands more. The results could be catastrophic for the real estate market.
Foreclosures are the economic beast no one in government wants to tame. However, the taxpayers are about to have their pockets picked again by Washington if nothing is done to manage the looming foreclosure nightmare. As each day passes without any action, the opportunity to avoid the crisis becomes more remote.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Factoids That You Can Use
Old-fashioned readers who enjoy the printed word on paper are fast becoming dinosaurs. According to Forrester Research, 17.6 million consumers this year will spend $966 million on digital e-books. Next year, the research firm estimates those numbers will triple, with 60 million readers shelling out $2.8 billion for the privilege of thumbing through a digital book. Publishers remain nervous about the sea change because paper books produce more revenues than their electronic cousins. However, the firms that manufacture multipurpose devices, such as tablets and smartphones, are expected to be the big winners. Today about 35 percent of people who read electronic books use a laptop computer. Another 32 percent get their books delivered on Amazon's Kindle. But Apple's iPhone and iPad have made a huge dent in the market in a brief period. Today about 15 percent of consumers use an iPhone to download a digital book, while 9 percent are reading on their iPad. That does not bode well for companies, like Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Sony, who retail e-readers. Faced with the prospect of more competition, Amazon has slashed the price of its new Kindle, which should attract more consumers. But the gains will likely be short-term. At least for the foreseeable future, experts predict consumers are likely to prefer devices that do more than function as a dedicated reader.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Has Ben Bernanke Gone Bonkers?
Nothing puts people to sleep like Federal Reserve Bank monetary policy. The Ambian of all Fed maneuvers is the arcane practice of quantitative easing or QE. Yet Americans better start paying attention because a crisis of epic proportions may be brewing.
Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke recently announced a plan for the central bank to buy $600 billion of government debt. During the financial crisis, Bernanke has overseen the purchase of $1.7 trillion in government and mortgage bonds. The decision to embrace quantitative easing was greeted with benign news coverage which cheered the effort to boost the weak recovery of the U.S. economy.
However, the mainstream media as usual failed to grasp the significance of the Fed's move. The economic morons in the media were content to talk about the central bank's effort to increase the amount of credit available to borrowers. To do that, the bank issues new money to purchase assets from other banks, the media reported. Theoretically,at least, the banks then have more money to lend to businesses and consumers.
While the coverage is factually accurate, it obfuscates what is really going on here. Bernanke, who seems to have bought into President Obama's economic theories, has fashioned his own stimulus package. With Republicans poised to oppose any more billion dollar stimulus boondoggles, Bernanke decided to take matters in his own hands to circumvent the Congress. It is a maneuver fraught with high-stakes economic risks that far outweigh any expected benefits.
Bernanke's roll of the dice must first be understood for what it is. The Obama Administration's efforts to inject life into the economy have failed miserably by any measure, including the most important one, employment. With interest rates near zero, the Fed's latest move amounts to a show of financial resolve on the part of monetary policy makers. That's why defenders of the policy argue that QE has psychological value. For example, investors have driven up stock prices in the wake of the Fed's action. However, $600 billion dollars seems a steep price to pay for good feelings on Wall Street.
Meanwhile, the central bank is spending money it has created out of thin air. Increasing the money supply will create the likelihood of out-of-control inflation. While once the Fed was the staunch last line of defense against inflation, Bernanke seems to have forgotten the chief mission of the central bank in order to please his White House masters. So much for an independent Fed.
In addition, the Fed is purchasing assets, such as mortgage-backed securities, that run the risk of default. There are other questions surrounding the QE maneuver, including what happens when the Fed decides to sell the assets it has purchased through QE. When the central bank exits with its cash, this will tighten the supply of money, leaving less dollars for banks to lend.
Another victim of QE is the American dollar. It has gone into free fall since the Fed pulled the rug out from under previous efforts to shore up the currency. As a result, the currency has been seriously weakened. This makes American exports less costly, but drives up the cost of goods and services the country imports from other countries.
All that said, the most glaring weakness of the Fed's action has gone unreported. QE is based on a faulty premise that the asset purchase will spark borrowing by businesses and consumers, thus lifting spending to spark real economic growth. The assumption is bankrupt of any logic.
Businesses are sitting on something like $1 trillion in excess cash. The problem is not that corporations can't get money from lenders. In fact, many are using the low interest rates to borrow funds to restructure current debt. The overriding issue is that no business will begin investing until there are signs that consumers are spending again.
Bernanke has fallen prey to Harvard academic economics while ignoring common-sense pragmatic solutions. Putting money in consumers pockets is the one and only way to jump start the American economy. QE won't do that. If interest rates near zero for almost two years haven't convinced consumers to borrow money for homes, cars and other big ticket items, then easing credit further won't matter one iota.
While Bernanke continues to defend the Fed's policy shift, others have not been kind in their assessment of the central bank. The German finance minister hit the nail on the head when he said, "With all due respect, U.S. policy is clueless." Can we get an "Amen" to that?
Bernanke, once hailed as a genius molded in the image of his predecessor Alan Greenspan, has charted a controversial new path for economic recovery. His approach does not have history on its side. Other nations that have infamously tried versions of QE are Zimbabwe and Germany. In both cases, hyperinflation gutted the economies of the countries.
The new incoming Congress needs to reign in Bernanke before his strategy implodes, dragging the U.S. economy into decades of soaring inflation, staggering deficits and high unemployment.
Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke recently announced a plan for the central bank to buy $600 billion of government debt. During the financial crisis, Bernanke has overseen the purchase of $1.7 trillion in government and mortgage bonds. The decision to embrace quantitative easing was greeted with benign news coverage which cheered the effort to boost the weak recovery of the U.S. economy.
However, the mainstream media as usual failed to grasp the significance of the Fed's move. The economic morons in the media were content to talk about the central bank's effort to increase the amount of credit available to borrowers. To do that, the bank issues new money to purchase assets from other banks, the media reported. Theoretically,at least, the banks then have more money to lend to businesses and consumers.
While the coverage is factually accurate, it obfuscates what is really going on here. Bernanke, who seems to have bought into President Obama's economic theories, has fashioned his own stimulus package. With Republicans poised to oppose any more billion dollar stimulus boondoggles, Bernanke decided to take matters in his own hands to circumvent the Congress. It is a maneuver fraught with high-stakes economic risks that far outweigh any expected benefits.
Bernanke's roll of the dice must first be understood for what it is. The Obama Administration's efforts to inject life into the economy have failed miserably by any measure, including the most important one, employment. With interest rates near zero, the Fed's latest move amounts to a show of financial resolve on the part of monetary policy makers. That's why defenders of the policy argue that QE has psychological value. For example, investors have driven up stock prices in the wake of the Fed's action. However, $600 billion dollars seems a steep price to pay for good feelings on Wall Street.
Meanwhile, the central bank is spending money it has created out of thin air. Increasing the money supply will create the likelihood of out-of-control inflation. While once the Fed was the staunch last line of defense against inflation, Bernanke seems to have forgotten the chief mission of the central bank in order to please his White House masters. So much for an independent Fed.
In addition, the Fed is purchasing assets, such as mortgage-backed securities, that run the risk of default. There are other questions surrounding the QE maneuver, including what happens when the Fed decides to sell the assets it has purchased through QE. When the central bank exits with its cash, this will tighten the supply of money, leaving less dollars for banks to lend.
Another victim of QE is the American dollar. It has gone into free fall since the Fed pulled the rug out from under previous efforts to shore up the currency. As a result, the currency has been seriously weakened. This makes American exports less costly, but drives up the cost of goods and services the country imports from other countries.
All that said, the most glaring weakness of the Fed's action has gone unreported. QE is based on a faulty premise that the asset purchase will spark borrowing by businesses and consumers, thus lifting spending to spark real economic growth. The assumption is bankrupt of any logic.
Businesses are sitting on something like $1 trillion in excess cash. The problem is not that corporations can't get money from lenders. In fact, many are using the low interest rates to borrow funds to restructure current debt. The overriding issue is that no business will begin investing until there are signs that consumers are spending again.
Bernanke has fallen prey to Harvard academic economics while ignoring common-sense pragmatic solutions. Putting money in consumers pockets is the one and only way to jump start the American economy. QE won't do that. If interest rates near zero for almost two years haven't convinced consumers to borrow money for homes, cars and other big ticket items, then easing credit further won't matter one iota.
While Bernanke continues to defend the Fed's policy shift, others have not been kind in their assessment of the central bank. The German finance minister hit the nail on the head when he said, "With all due respect, U.S. policy is clueless." Can we get an "Amen" to that?
Bernanke, once hailed as a genius molded in the image of his predecessor Alan Greenspan, has charted a controversial new path for economic recovery. His approach does not have history on its side. Other nations that have infamously tried versions of QE are Zimbabwe and Germany. In both cases, hyperinflation gutted the economies of the countries.
The new incoming Congress needs to reign in Bernanke before his strategy implodes, dragging the U.S. economy into decades of soaring inflation, staggering deficits and high unemployment.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Democrats Lawyering Up For Recounts
Today's mid-term elections are guaranteed to produce some razor-thin victory margins in many of the races. Polling shows many contests have tightened in the last week, particularly in previously safe Democratic strongholds. As a result, the difference in more than a few races could be hundreds of votes.
Among the contests that could produce cliff-hangers are the Senate races in Alaska and Nevada, where majority leader Harry Reid is in a desperate battle to save his seat. Alaska features a crowded field, including a write-in candidate campaign being waged by the incumbent. Throw in the mix the race in Washington, where the Senate contest has become a dogfight, and the voters can mail ballots up until today. That means the final count in Washington state probably won't be known until at least Friday.
As a result, these elections have the earmarks of down-to-the-wire races. Democrats are secretly sending out hordes of lawyers to places like Nevada to skulk around for voting irregularities in hopes of overturning the public will. Don't discount the Democratic Party's ability to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat by using the courts and voting challenges to save its hide. Can anyone forget Al Gore's fight to overturn Florida's 2000's presidential election results?
Now that you have been warned, don't act surprised when Democratic election antics continue well into November.
Among the contests that could produce cliff-hangers are the Senate races in Alaska and Nevada, where majority leader Harry Reid is in a desperate battle to save his seat. Alaska features a crowded field, including a write-in candidate campaign being waged by the incumbent. Throw in the mix the race in Washington, where the Senate contest has become a dogfight, and the voters can mail ballots up until today. That means the final count in Washington state probably won't be known until at least Friday.
As a result, these elections have the earmarks of down-to-the-wire races. Democrats are secretly sending out hordes of lawyers to places like Nevada to skulk around for voting irregularities in hopes of overturning the public will. Don't discount the Democratic Party's ability to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat by using the courts and voting challenges to save its hide. Can anyone forget Al Gore's fight to overturn Florida's 2000's presidential election results?
Now that you have been warned, don't act surprised when Democratic election antics continue well into November.
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