Attention Billionaires: Pick Me To Fly Into Space!

Being snubbed once is humiliating. But twice? Utter indignation. The Billionaire Bees, Richard Branson and Jeff Bezos, recently rocketed into space and left me behind.  They likely checked my puny stock portfolio and giggled. I don't fit the space traveler profile: rich, filthy rich or Warren Buffet rich. 

Branson--Sir Richard, if you please--became the first billionaire to soar into space aboard his Virgin Galactic rocket-whatever.  The voyage lasted a measly five minutes, hardly time for a Whopper and a  chocolate shake. Galactic jetted 53 miles into the atmosphere before landing in New Mexico.  

Not to be outdone, the second billionaire in space Jeff Bezos blasted skyward on a ten-minute flight that peaked at 66 miles, 10 miles higher than the first-in-space knighted mogul.  This kind of one-upmanship allowed the colonies to break free from the yoke of those snooty English lords centuries ago.

Every the gentlemen, Branson invited two pilots and three Galactic employees on his flight.  Amazon founder Bezos hand-picked his entourage: his brother (nepotism), an 18-year old from the Netherlands and an 82-year old Texan, who was one of 13 females originally chosen for astronaut training in the 1960's.

Bezos' slight is particularly irksome.  I am an Amazon Prime member for goodness sake. Surely Jeff at least recognizes my credit card number. Instead he picked an 18-year from a  nondescript country, who likely has never ordered gifts for his grandkids on Amazon.  Jeff obviously isn't loyal. Just ask his ex-wife.

If I am fuming, Elon Musk must be gnawing an electric battery in a fit of rage.  His peers, two billionaire company founders, beat him into space.  Humbling for a guy whose firm SpaceX pioneered private sector rocket launches.  Why is Musk dawdling, you ask?  You won't believe the answer.

Musk plunked down $200,000 for a ride on Branson's Virgin Galactic space vehicle.  He will join other tourists on a space junket chartered by Branson's company.  Say it ain't so Elon!  Don't bow to a Brit. Where's your pride?  Soon that tricky Sir Richard will be manufacturing competing electric cars.  

For that matter, why the heck hasn't Warren Buffet stepped into the space race?  Perhaps the 90-year-old figures he's too feeble for rigorous space travel.  But Buffet has more cash than the Federal Government, He could buy NASA and hire a doctor and a caretaker to accompany him on his journey.  Come on, Man!

Do it for your country Warren.  NASA will allow you to bring a case of Coke and one of your Burlington Northern rail cars in the cargo hull.  Besides Warren, you may be my last chance for a ride in space.  I hear you have an affinity for investors.  I am one. A lousy one.  But that shouldn't matter.

Honestly, your ego needs a boost, Warren.  Once you held the title of the world's richest man.  Now you are mired in ninth place with an estimated wealth of $101 billion.  Bezos is twice as rich as you.  The online peddler is worth a reported $206 billion.  Ouch! Warren, I feel your economic pain. Oh, I wish.

Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg are uber-rich but have no interest in space.  Gates is busy dictating health mandates across the globe, shoveling billions into everything from vaccines to population control.  Zuckerberg might be up for space, but he would need a gaggle of censors with him. Not happening.

My brother-in-law Cliff Mylett suggested an alternative. He theorizes all those Unidentified Flying Objects (UFO) are actually billionaires from another universe zooming over Earth as part of interplanetary  space tourism.  Sounds plausible. Those planets must have more billionaires than Earth.

The National UFO Reporting Center announced there were 5,971 sightings in 2019, a giant leap from the 3,395 in the previous year.  California led all states in sightings.  Makes sense.  Every alien billionaire is hoping for a sighting of a Hollywood star.  If you're reading this Warren, bet you're green with envy.

Memo to Little Green Billionaires:  I am definitely interested in zipping around space in your UFO's. With your superior intellect, you already know my medical details and have stolen my internet identity.  Contact me.  I may not speak your language, but I own cryptocurrency. Surely, you know about crypto.

I have one dietary requirement (nothing fishy) and of course there must be a honking 85-inch flat screen television on board with 12 streaming services.  But I require little else in the way of comforts. Oh, and my own bathroom.  I'm not sharing one of those nozzles on my spacesuit with a green alien.  

I await your signal, Little Green Billionaire. I'll be patient.  But I am 75, so don't dawdle like Elon.    

America's Space Odyssey: Leader to Laggard

Millions worldwide watched the flickering images on television as a lunar lander hovered near the moon's surface. Americans Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were shoehorned in the space vehicle frantically searching for a safe place to land among the moon's yawning craters and craggy rocks.

The task was made infinitely more intense after alarms rattled the silence in the space capsule.  Mission Control signaled the go ahead for landing after deciding a computer system overload tripped the alarms.  But the tension increased as a glowing gauge showed 18 seconds of fuel remaining.

With just seconds of precious fuel to spare, Armstrong toggled the craft to a smooth landing on the surface of the moon. Armstrong exhaled, smiled and then radioed: "Houston, Tranquility Base here.  The Eagle has landed."  It was exactly 4:18 p.m. on July 20, 1969, more than 50 years ago.

The main event began about six hours later when Armstrong, swaddled in a bulky, white spacesuit, opened the hatch of Eagle and slowly backed down a ladder.  As he descended, he switched on a TV camera.  At 10:56 p.m., his foot touched the surface of the moon to the cheers of millions.

This historic moment capped a eight-year-long effort by the U.S. to seize the lead in the race to space, eclipsing the Soviet Union.  This was more than "One step for man, one giant leap for mankind."  It was the crowning achievement of the 20th century for American ingenuity, vision and invention.

The space program ushered in a plethora of new technology, notably industrial computing which sparked the Digital Revolution.  How far have we progressed?  The computing power used on Apollo was two-millionths of one percent of the computing power of today's smartphones.  

Many predicted the successful mission would jump start a heroic era of manned exploration of the Cosmos, including landing on distant planets.  However, the space program suffered a run of near disasters and tragedies, including the 1986 explosion of the Challenger space shuttle.

As the years passed, what remained of NASA (National Aeronautical and Space Administration) shriveled from neglect and lack of funding. Manned space exploration was supplanted by robotic probes sent hurtling into space to glimpse the universe.  Not the stuff of legendary daring feats.

America has invested so little in its space exploration that today we depend on Russia to shuttle our astronauts to service the international space station.  While it's true that private investment by companies such as Space X has advanced rocket technology, government funding has fallen behind.

Meanwhile, China has stepped up efforts to dominate space travel and exploration, investing billions in infrastructure and nuclear powered rocket technology.  They have unveiled plans to build manned labs both on the moon and Mars.  China recently rocketed its first quantum satellite in orbit.

China became the third country after the U.S. and Russia to successfully perform a sea-based orbital launch in June, reports Reuters.  A rocket carrying seven satellites blasted off from a platform on a semi-submersible barge in the Yellow Sea.  The country also boasts three land-based launch sites.

Its ambitious plans include developing reusable, low-cost medium rockets along with super heavy-lift rockets expected to make their virgin flight in 2030.  At the same time, China is in the process of constructing a new space station, expected to be completed about 2022.

Tens of private Chinese firms have joined the race to develop rockets capable of delivering low-cost micro satellites with commercial applications.  Last month iSpace became the first privately funded Chinese firm to put satellites into orbit.  In China, private and government efforts are intertwined.

China has made it clear its goal is to rule space.  What will be America's response?  The bipartisan political alliance behind the Apollo mission was spurred by President John F. Kennedy's speech to Congress in 1961. Can today's politicians cobble a coalition to answer China's challenge?

The sharp divisions between the political parties and the White House offer faint  hope, especially when too few Americans care a wit about space exploration or China's determination to surpass the United States. It is dispiriting to watch what has happened to America's resolve to lead in space.

Unless the country awakens to the challenge, not only will the United States cede space exploration to China but our indifference will one day allow the Chinese to threaten American interests and values with a terrestrial platform to subjugate its enemies and achieve global dominance.