Political wags are chattering about former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg's gusher of ad spending, topping $200 million in barely a month. The billionaire is blanketing the airwaves to gain traction in the crowded Democratic Party primary. Pundits are hailing the strategy as brilliant.
Bloomberg's ad binge may yet prove effective, but the facts suggest he would do more good by setting fire to all that cash to heat a homeless shelter. Many people have been conditioned by the media and the political consultant class to accept conventional wisdom that political ads work.
That is at odds with numerous independent studies which show political advertising is ignored, ineffective and does not change voters minds. I know you are skeptical because you have heard campaign ad agencies, media airheads and consultants wax eloquently about advertising's impact.
But those disciples of political advertising all have a vested interest in convincing candidates of the value of millions of dollars spent on television, radio, social media, newspapers and robo calls. Have you ever wondered who benefits the most from that prodigious spending?
Here is the dirty secret. Nearly every dollar in ad buys ends up in the coffers of the liberal media. Consultants are rewarded because they can demand higher fees for managing huge ad budgets. Advertising agencies charge fat commissions for placing the ads in the media. It's a racket.
This incestuous cabal then brags about how advertising changed the tide of an election. No one challenges their assumptions because after all, they are the experts. If you have accepted that as fact, independent, unbiased studies might change your perception of campaign advertising.
Here is an unambiguous study published in the American Political Science Review by researchers from Yale and Stanford. After extensive research, the authors concluded: "The best estimates of the effects of campaign contact and advertising on (voters choices) in general elections is zero."
Did you hear that Michael Bloomberg? Zero! Nada. We are just warming up. Another research study authored by political scientists at the University of California-LA and Stanford found nearly half (42%) of viewers tune out all campaign television commercials.
People most likely to watch commercials are what the authors term "low engagement" people, couch potatoes who are not likely to vote. The next group are "high engagement" people, who have already made up their minds on the candidate of their choice. Ad executives are squirming in their limos.
I know some of you are shaking your heads, recalling campaign boasts that early ad spending won the election for Bill Clinton. Of course, that claim was made by his campaign consultant. And others may remember praise for Barrack Obama's advertising blitz that aided his 2008 election triumph.
In a 2010 study, political scientists Michael Franz and Travis Ridout conducted in-depth research to quantify advertising's impact on Obama's victory. Their estimate is that the advertising moved the voter needle for Obama by 0.551 points. That tiny difference is within the margin of statistical error.
But wait there's more. The authors reported the ads did not persuade anyone to actually vote for Obama, but was helpful in motivating turnout of people who already planned to cast their ballot for the former senator. Michael Bloomberg may want to fire his entire campaign ad staff.
Exit polls confirmed the findings of the research. Pollsters found that 78% of voters had made up their minds long before election day. Only four percent admitted they woke up election day and made their choice. Even that number flies in the face of previous research on voter decision making.
At this point, a few readers are nodding and muttering: "Yeah, but what about social media?" Big difference maker in 2016. Everyone has mentioned (either positively or negatively) the influence of social media on the election. But few if any have actually scientifically measured it.
Those who did, including one University of California-San Diego political scientist, uncovered no evidence to support those claims. His conclusion: "Social media had no measurable aggregated influence over voters' beliefs." That's not what most people have been spoon fed by the media.
Another study published in the Public Library of Science Journal reached the same conclusion about social media's role in the 2016 election. The author, Ohio State University communications professor Kelly Garrett, concluded social media played little, if any, role in influencing the outcome.
Despite the evidence, that didn't stop Hillary Clinton from blaming misinformation planted on social media by nefarious Russians for her humiliating defeat. The bitter Clinton asserted social media posts turned the election in Mr. Trump's favor. She offered no proof for her views.
However, political consultants, media political reporters and advertising moguls all have publicly claimed advertising, especially on social media, swung the election. You would expect nothing less from the very people who profit the most by reinforcing the power of media to win elections.
If advertising really worked as well as its proponents claim, then Hillary Clinton would be president. She outspent Mr. Trump by a lopsided margin of two-to-one on advertising in legacy media as well as social media. Clinton purchased $141.7 million in advertising compared to $58.8 for Mr. Trump.
Her campaign spending dwarfed her opponent. According to OpenSecrets, the Clinton campaign shelled out $768 million to defeat Mr. Trump while the president's team tallied $398 million. These figures do not include expenditures by outside political surrogates on candidates' behalf.
That begs the question: Why do candidates continue to turn a blind eye to research and spend millions on advertising? The answer is simple: Elite consultants have cultivated a mystique about the ability of advertising messaging to win elections. They point to their past victories as evidence.
This aura is sustained by those with the most to gain: the media and ad agencies. These co-conspirators assert without contradiction that no candidate can win a national election without a Tsunami of advertising. Few dare to contradict their professed infallibility.
However, even a seismic wave of advertising won't help a lousy candidate. Michael Bloomberg could spend $1 trillion on advertising and still fail to capture the Democratic Party nomination. No doubt if he loses his consultants will claim the Russians rigged the election for the winner.
Monday, January 27, 2020
Monday, January 13, 2020
When Life Throws You A Curve
I have been counting down the days until my hip surgery on January 13. In hindsight, I should have been wary of the ominous date. Thirteen. There is a reason hotels have no 13th floor. Like a space launch, the surgery date has been scrubbed due to unfavorable conditions. Bum. Bum. Bummer.
The abbreviated version of this saga is that the hip replacement will have to wait for a more pressing surgery. I have a bulging disc in my neck, spinal stenosis and a pinched nerve. To relieve the symptoms, I will undergo an anterior cervical discectomy and fusion or ACDF in surgical lingo.
Warning: the squeamish may want to skip this description of the procedure. The surgeon will reach the neck through an incision in the throat area and remove two damaged discs in my neck, replacing them with cadaver bone grafts. The bone grafts and vertebrae are fixed in place with a titanium plate.
Sounds like a pain in the neck, right? But I have new found wisdom. This surgery is scheduled January 14 in deference to my triskaidekaphobia (fear of number 13). Despite the complicated neck procedure, the neurosurgeon assured me this is a routine, minimally invasive operation.
Warning: the squeamish may want to skip this description of the procedure. The surgeon will reach the neck through an incision in the throat area and remove two damaged discs in my neck, replacing them with cadaver bone grafts. The bone grafts and vertebrae are fixed in place with a titanium plate.
Sounds like a pain in the neck, right? But I have new found wisdom. This surgery is scheduled January 14 in deference to my triskaidekaphobia (fear of number 13). Despite the complicated neck procedure, the neurosurgeon assured me this is a routine, minimally invasive operation.
Moments after those soothing words, he added somberly: "I am required to advise you that the surgery is not risk free. You could die. You could be paralyzed." He smiled and reassured, "But that has never happened to one of my patients." I hope he has done more than one of these procedures.
Surgery requires a one day hospital stay, which means eating suspicious clumps of nourishment. Hospital food is an oxymoron. Medical facilities should offer an optional fast food meal delivered by DoorDash or UberEats. Hospitals remain stuck in the 19th food century.
Once released from Hell's Kitchen, I will be required to wear a soft white neck collar for two to three weeks. I plan to make the best of it. Here's my thought: Wear a black sports coat and black shirt with the white collar. Everyone will assume I am a priest and start unburdening their consciences to me.
I might hang around the confessional at my Catholic church at odd hours hoping to snag some unsuspecting sinner. Or I could visit retirement homes and run the bingo game. This may turn into a permanent gig in retirement. Father Roy has a nice ring to it. But without the celibate canon.
Once I recover, I am skedaddling to an orthopedic doc to schedule hip surgery. Two surgeries in the same year are like winning the military draft lottery during the Vietnam War. I knew I should have opted for the extended body parts warranty when it was offered 73 years ago. Too late now.
Some of you (the few still reading) may wonder how I went from hip to neck surgery in the blink of a surgeon's eye. For the curious, let me explain. I had been dealing with neck and shoulder pain for about seven months. Remedies failed to relieve my symptoms and the pain worsened.
The first neurosurgeon who viewed the MRI of my neck assured me I did not need surgery. In fact, he diagnosed the problem was in my shoulder. Likely a muscle spasm or possibly a pinched nerve. I gulped pills to no avail. After a few exasperating months, I checked in with a shoulder specialist.
She ordered physical therapy. Two months later my status was quo. A few steroid shorts and physiotherapy followed. No change. If anything, the pain escalated. Next stop a pain management specialist who looked at my MRI and announced, "Your neck sucks." Those are my words not his.
At last, I was encouraged to at least know what was causing my shoulder pain. I found the best neurosurgeon and the rest, as they say, is medical history. He advised that hip surgery might cause damage to my spine. That sober warning prompted my decision to have the neck repaired first.
Along my medical journey, I gained a few valuable lessons. Always trust what your body is telling you. Doctors can view MRI's, X-rays and perform physical examinations for a diagnosis. But they cannot get inside your body and feel the pain. You own the pain and you own your body.
Never unquestioningly accept a doctor's diagnosis. It is better to be skeptical, to ask questions and, perhaps, to get another medical opinion. After my initial diagnosis, I wish I had reached out to another neuro specialist. But hindsight is a sower of doubt and regrets. I prefer to live in the present.
That's why you need a healthy dose of Faith to make it through the medical hoops and physical distress of pain. I know God is leading me, even though the route has been circuitous. All in God's time not mine. I may have doubts about doctors in general, but none about my Faith.
If you know a prayer, please recite one for my speedy recovery. (If you don't pray, just avoid being within 100 miles of lightning storms.)
If you know a prayer, please recite one for my speedy recovery. (If you don't pray, just avoid being within 100 miles of lightning storms.)
Until I am able to pound a keyboard again, I will take a medical sabbatical. I will miss creating these columns. Writing is a passion of mine. However, soon I will be back at my desk, gazing at my computer and tapping the keyboard. Only then, it will be without pain in my neck and shoulder.
Monday, January 6, 2020
National Debt: Politicians Spending Addiction
Yawn. That's the reaction of most Americans when anyone raises the issue of the country's rotund national debt. The size of the debt--$23.1 trillion--should concern every American. Instead people figure it's the federal government's problem. Not their worry. They are sadly mistaken or misled.
Quantifying the national debt can be reduced to a few key numbers. America's debt equals $179,695 for every household in the country. The federal government carries 46% more debt than the combined debt of every household in America. The debt is 107% of the U.S. economy.
Even those sobering figures fall short of calibrating the size of the debt. Consider that in the last 19 years the government has racked up more debt than than in the previous 100 years. Since 2000, the U.S. has amassed $17.5 trillion in new debt as a result of spending more than its revenues.
The federal government's record spending binge threatens the financial health of the country, which ultimately impacts businesses, jobs and wages. The budget for fiscal year 2020 is $4.7 trillion, a colossal 164% increase in spending since 2000. Politicians of both parties are complicit.
Federal government revenues are rising too, but at a slower pace. The federal government estimates it will receive $3.64 trillion in revenue, the lion's share to be paid by individual taxpayers like you. In 2000, $2.03 trillion flowed into the U.S. Treasury. America doesn't have a revenue problem.
In 2020, the deficit or revenue shortfall will climb to $1.01 trillion by the time the government fiscal year ends September 30. Since the end of the Clinton Administration, each Congress and president has overspent. This trend is unsustainable without major changes in expenditures
It helps to understand what is driving government spending. In the current budget, six out of every 10 dollars goes to mandatory spending, which includes programs such as Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, food stamps, federal pensions, Obamacare and veterans programs.
Mandatory spending has automatic increases built in as more people are added to the rolls. Increases in benefits are baked into the budget too. To put this in perspective, in 1968, three years after Medicare and Medicaid were created, mandatory spending represented just 27% of the budget.
For fiscal 2020, here is a breakdown of the budget for the top three mandatory spending programs: Social Security, $1.1 trillion; Medicare, $679 billion; and Medicaid, $418 billion. Total mandatory expenditures are budgeted at $2.841 trillion.
This spending category is called mandatory because these programs have been mandated by law to be funded. This rigid requirement leaves little room for so-called discretionary spending, which amounts to 13.3% of the current budget. The national defense consumes 12.4% of spending.
The remaining 11.7% of the budget is devoted to paying interest on the debt. Nearly $480 billion is included in the 2020 budget to service the interest. There is no room in the budget to actually pay down the debt or principle. Each year the interest gobbles up a greater percentage of the budget.
Congress has no incentive to reign in spending. Representatives and senators use the budget as personal piggy banks to fund pet projects in their districts. That doesn't mean the expenditures are all wasteful, but lawmakers view the projects as little more than a downpayment on their reelection.
If Congress actually followed its own rules of producing a national budget, there would be more scrutiny of these expenditures. But lawmakers have failed to pass an annual budget in seven of the last 15 fiscal years, instead using what's known as continuing resolutions to fund the government.
These temporary funding resolutions usually cover six months or less leaving little incentive for a substantial spending debate. These resolutions are the product of eleventh hour, horse-trading sessions designed to win both parties' votes and avoid political blame for a government shutdown.
Most senators and representatives, if they are honest, will admit there is too little time for members to even read what is included in the spending resolution. They are essentially blindly rubber stamping a budget that has been engineered by a handful of members behind closed doors.
This cannot continue if Americans want accountability from their government. Congress needs to return to the budget process where spending, the debt and specific programs are reviewed, debated, prioritized and voted on. Congress has no greater duty than to establish the federal budget.
Unfortunately, there is only the dimmest hope this will ever happen. A divided government, partisan bickering and voter apathy have all contributed to today's sausage making process that serves the interests of senators and representatives but lacks transparency for the American people.
Americans must demand change by contacting their elected representatives and senators. Otherwise, Congressional members will continue on a track that surely will one day bankrupt the country and force extreme measures, including crippling taxes and Draconian budget cuts.
That day draws nearer each year that Congress refuses to tackle spending and the ballooning debt.
Quantifying the national debt can be reduced to a few key numbers. America's debt equals $179,695 for every household in the country. The federal government carries 46% more debt than the combined debt of every household in America. The debt is 107% of the U.S. economy.
Even those sobering figures fall short of calibrating the size of the debt. Consider that in the last 19 years the government has racked up more debt than than in the previous 100 years. Since 2000, the U.S. has amassed $17.5 trillion in new debt as a result of spending more than its revenues.
The federal government's record spending binge threatens the financial health of the country, which ultimately impacts businesses, jobs and wages. The budget for fiscal year 2020 is $4.7 trillion, a colossal 164% increase in spending since 2000. Politicians of both parties are complicit.
Federal government revenues are rising too, but at a slower pace. The federal government estimates it will receive $3.64 trillion in revenue, the lion's share to be paid by individual taxpayers like you. In 2000, $2.03 trillion flowed into the U.S. Treasury. America doesn't have a revenue problem.
In 2020, the deficit or revenue shortfall will climb to $1.01 trillion by the time the government fiscal year ends September 30. Since the end of the Clinton Administration, each Congress and president has overspent. This trend is unsustainable without major changes in expenditures
It helps to understand what is driving government spending. In the current budget, six out of every 10 dollars goes to mandatory spending, which includes programs such as Medicare, Medicaid, Social Security, food stamps, federal pensions, Obamacare and veterans programs.
Mandatory spending has automatic increases built in as more people are added to the rolls. Increases in benefits are baked into the budget too. To put this in perspective, in 1968, three years after Medicare and Medicaid were created, mandatory spending represented just 27% of the budget.
For fiscal 2020, here is a breakdown of the budget for the top three mandatory spending programs: Social Security, $1.1 trillion; Medicare, $679 billion; and Medicaid, $418 billion. Total mandatory expenditures are budgeted at $2.841 trillion.
This spending category is called mandatory because these programs have been mandated by law to be funded. This rigid requirement leaves little room for so-called discretionary spending, which amounts to 13.3% of the current budget. The national defense consumes 12.4% of spending.
The remaining 11.7% of the budget is devoted to paying interest on the debt. Nearly $480 billion is included in the 2020 budget to service the interest. There is no room in the budget to actually pay down the debt or principle. Each year the interest gobbles up a greater percentage of the budget.
Congress has no incentive to reign in spending. Representatives and senators use the budget as personal piggy banks to fund pet projects in their districts. That doesn't mean the expenditures are all wasteful, but lawmakers view the projects as little more than a downpayment on their reelection.
If Congress actually followed its own rules of producing a national budget, there would be more scrutiny of these expenditures. But lawmakers have failed to pass an annual budget in seven of the last 15 fiscal years, instead using what's known as continuing resolutions to fund the government.
These temporary funding resolutions usually cover six months or less leaving little incentive for a substantial spending debate. These resolutions are the product of eleventh hour, horse-trading sessions designed to win both parties' votes and avoid political blame for a government shutdown.
Most senators and representatives, if they are honest, will admit there is too little time for members to even read what is included in the spending resolution. They are essentially blindly rubber stamping a budget that has been engineered by a handful of members behind closed doors.
This cannot continue if Americans want accountability from their government. Congress needs to return to the budget process where spending, the debt and specific programs are reviewed, debated, prioritized and voted on. Congress has no greater duty than to establish the federal budget.
Unfortunately, there is only the dimmest hope this will ever happen. A divided government, partisan bickering and voter apathy have all contributed to today's sausage making process that serves the interests of senators and representatives but lacks transparency for the American people.
Americans must demand change by contacting their elected representatives and senators. Otherwise, Congressional members will continue on a track that surely will one day bankrupt the country and force extreme measures, including crippling taxes and Draconian budget cuts.
That day draws nearer each year that Congress refuses to tackle spending and the ballooning debt.
Monday, December 30, 2019
Top Ten Predictions For 2020
Futuristic predictions are notoriously goofed. A glance in the rear view mirror of history illuminates the hazard of forecasting. Consider in 1998 a well known futurist boldly prophesied that human life expectancy would rise to "over 100" by 2019. He missed by a whopping 27.4 years.
In a 1994 book, a British commentator and editor foresaw the retirement age would inch up to age 70. He was off by five years. In the U.S. the average retirement age for men is 65 and 63 for women. A few European countries have upped the retirement age to 67.
And there are more wrong-headed prognostications. The International Food Policy Research Institute forecast 33 years ago that the world population would balloon to 8 billion by 2020. Close but no cigar. The U.N. projects the world's population is 7.7 billion, a mere 300 million below the estimate.
One popular conjecture was the disappearance of paper books as consumers turned to wireless devices to devour their favorite novel. That must be news to the U.S. book publishing industry which sold 675 million print books in 2018. True, sales are declining, but readers aren't scrapping books.
Against this backdrop of conceited folly, your journalist once again boldy (some say egotistically) wades into the treacherous, murky waters of the future with predictions for 2020:
1. The Dow Jones stock index soars to a record 30,000 in the first quarter before giving up ground in the third quarter to finish near 29,000 after business profits begin showing softness and global economies fail to meet market expectations.
2. Gross Domestic Product (GDP), a measure of U.S. economic growth, defies forecasts by averaging 2.2 percent quarterly as consumer spending continues to spur the recent boom and recession fears evaporate. Ninety percent of world economies lag behind U.S.
3. China's economy struggles to reach its former robust levels as more banks fail, consumer spending weakens and an increasing number of countries balk at investment because of human rights violations. These developments compel China to make more concessions on U.S. trade.
4. The housing market, after a temporary slumber, awakens as the Fed dampens rate hike jitters triggering a 5 percent uptick in single family home starts, while inventory shrinks and prices for existing homes post single-digit gains, primarily in currently hot markets.
5. After much speculation, China launches a digital version of its currency, the Yuan, raising pressure on the United States to enter the digital currency age to maintain the dominance of the dollar as a worldwide currency. The Treasury Department promises to "explore" the option.
6. American wireless firms, after trailing China's aggressive rollout, usher in the next generation wireless technology 5G with rapid deployment in more cities, but applications are a disappointment as handset manufacturers and network connected devices are slow to market.
7. U.S. Attorney John Durham completes his investigation into FBI abuse regarding spying on Trump campaign and the abuse of FISA warrants, leading to indictments of senior Obama era officials, including John Brennan, James Comey and Andrew McCabe.
8. With birth rates falling in the U.S., American colleges and universities rethink higher education and begin reaching out to more than 49 million retirees in an effort to lure them back to campus by building senior housing and other amenities to offset dwindling enrollment.
9. Early Democratic Party presidential primaries produce no clear frontrunner. Worried about beating President Trump, former President Barack Obama endorses a new entrant into the race, however, delegates to the convention in Milwaukee ultimately decide the nominee.
10. Articles of impeachment remain stalled in the House of Representatives as Democrats continue to scour for new charges to levy against President Trump. Democrats launch new probes and adopt more articles as ammunition to defeat the president in the 2020 election.
For readers who remain skeptical about your journalist's crystal ball wizardry, five of last year's predictions were absolutely on target, including the prophecy that Speaker Nancy Pelosi would initiate hearings for Articles of Impeachment after the Mueller Report produced no wrongdoing.
Now that you have been offered a glimpse of 2020, here's hoping you have The Best New Year Ever!
In a 1994 book, a British commentator and editor foresaw the retirement age would inch up to age 70. He was off by five years. In the U.S. the average retirement age for men is 65 and 63 for women. A few European countries have upped the retirement age to 67.
And there are more wrong-headed prognostications. The International Food Policy Research Institute forecast 33 years ago that the world population would balloon to 8 billion by 2020. Close but no cigar. The U.N. projects the world's population is 7.7 billion, a mere 300 million below the estimate.
One popular conjecture was the disappearance of paper books as consumers turned to wireless devices to devour their favorite novel. That must be news to the U.S. book publishing industry which sold 675 million print books in 2018. True, sales are declining, but readers aren't scrapping books.
Against this backdrop of conceited folly, your journalist once again boldy (some say egotistically) wades into the treacherous, murky waters of the future with predictions for 2020:
1. The Dow Jones stock index soars to a record 30,000 in the first quarter before giving up ground in the third quarter to finish near 29,000 after business profits begin showing softness and global economies fail to meet market expectations.
2. Gross Domestic Product (GDP), a measure of U.S. economic growth, defies forecasts by averaging 2.2 percent quarterly as consumer spending continues to spur the recent boom and recession fears evaporate. Ninety percent of world economies lag behind U.S.
3. China's economy struggles to reach its former robust levels as more banks fail, consumer spending weakens and an increasing number of countries balk at investment because of human rights violations. These developments compel China to make more concessions on U.S. trade.
4. The housing market, after a temporary slumber, awakens as the Fed dampens rate hike jitters triggering a 5 percent uptick in single family home starts, while inventory shrinks and prices for existing homes post single-digit gains, primarily in currently hot markets.
5. After much speculation, China launches a digital version of its currency, the Yuan, raising pressure on the United States to enter the digital currency age to maintain the dominance of the dollar as a worldwide currency. The Treasury Department promises to "explore" the option.
6. American wireless firms, after trailing China's aggressive rollout, usher in the next generation wireless technology 5G with rapid deployment in more cities, but applications are a disappointment as handset manufacturers and network connected devices are slow to market.
7. U.S. Attorney John Durham completes his investigation into FBI abuse regarding spying on Trump campaign and the abuse of FISA warrants, leading to indictments of senior Obama era officials, including John Brennan, James Comey and Andrew McCabe.
8. With birth rates falling in the U.S., American colleges and universities rethink higher education and begin reaching out to more than 49 million retirees in an effort to lure them back to campus by building senior housing and other amenities to offset dwindling enrollment.
9. Early Democratic Party presidential primaries produce no clear frontrunner. Worried about beating President Trump, former President Barack Obama endorses a new entrant into the race, however, delegates to the convention in Milwaukee ultimately decide the nominee.
10. Articles of impeachment remain stalled in the House of Representatives as Democrats continue to scour for new charges to levy against President Trump. Democrats launch new probes and adopt more articles as ammunition to defeat the president in the 2020 election.
For readers who remain skeptical about your journalist's crystal ball wizardry, five of last year's predictions were absolutely on target, including the prophecy that Speaker Nancy Pelosi would initiate hearings for Articles of Impeachment after the Mueller Report produced no wrongdoing.
Now that you have been offered a glimpse of 2020, here's hoping you have The Best New Year Ever!
Monday, December 23, 2019
Elves Stir Ruckus Jeopardizing Christmas
An impeachment inquiry has been scheduled for Christmas Day by a cadre of North Pole elves who want to oust Santa Claus from his position. News of the development has left anxious children all over the world wondering if they will receive toys and gifts this year.
An investigation was announced by Alabaster Snowball, the administrator of the Naughty and Nice List that Santa Claus relies on to decide which child's behavior merits toys. The diminutive Snowball claimed to have support from members of the Naughty and Nice Elf Committee.
At a hastily called hearing, Snowball alleged Santa secretly raised the behavioral standard to advantage kids with parents in the wealthiest one percent. Snowball revealed a whistleblower had overheard Santa making the request in a phone call to the Ukrainian born reindeer Blitzen.
Although Snowball did not divulge the identity of the whistleblower, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer speculated the snitch was Wunorse Openslae, a disgruntled elf who serves on the committee. "Openslae has been hostile to Santa this entire year," Rudolph glowed with discontent.
Santa Claus took to social media to unleash a torrent of tweets slamming Snowball as a partisan hack. "Snowball has concocted a Snow Job. He's upset because he had to work overtime last year making toys because too many kids made the Nice List. Naughty SNOWBALL!," read one tweet.
The white-bearded Claus pledged to fulfill his Christmas duty by skipping the "sham" inquiry. A defiant Claus told a news conference: "I will guarantee every kid: "If you like your gift, you can actually keep your gift." Some considered the quote a slap at Santa's cousin Obama Claus.
A few news reporters tried to goad the merry man into responding to catty comments from fashion designers about Mrs. Claus's dated red and white outfit and her ample figure. "You journalists should look in the mirror before you body shame anyone," the roly-poly Claus retorted.
A reporter from the Washington Impeachment Post challenged Claus to release his medical records in light of reports about Claus' own weight gain. "My personal physician, Dr. Shirley O. Bese, said I have the body of a 1,749-year old man," answered Claus, who became a legend in 270 A.D.
During the session with news members, angry environmentalists outside began waving signs proclaiming, "Santa Supports Dirty Coal!" A spokesperson for the group accused Santa of polluting the atmosphere by giving naughty kids a lump of coal in their Christmas stockings.
"We demand Santa pay a carbon tax if he is going to continue to use coal," the spokesperson told shivering bystanders. The environmental protesters also pointed out Santa's sleigh was powered by reindeer, whose burping fouls the air across the world.
Donner was not amused. "Count me as a burp denier," the reindeer harrumphed. "Santa feeds all his reindeer a vegan diet. Now admittedly, a few order meals from Jenny Craig, but most of the reindeer are content to munch on plant food that tastes just like a Whopper."
Inside at the news briefing, a handful of illegal immigrants from the South Pole interrupted Claus and insisted their children deserved free toys at Christmas just like the local kids in North Pole. The clump of aliens produced drivers licenses proving they were citizens of New Jersey.
Claus directed the immigrants to discuss the matter with Shinny Upatree, the elf charged with barcoding each toy with the recipient's address before it is loaded on Santa's sleigh on Christmas Eve. Upatree appeared with two Icy Gents who ushered the immigrants out of the room.
With all the hullabaloo, Santa figured he needed to change the prevailing narrative. He tugged an index card from the pocket of his red coat and began reciting his recent achievements. Reporters and bystanders listened as Claus ticked off a list that included a record stockings market.
"Ever since last Christmas, sales of stockings to be hung by fireplaces have soared. The market is now up to 28,000 stockings for the year. No one ever imagined sales would reach such heights," bragged Santa. "And, I have added more jobs this year than any North Pole employer."
As the news conference was wrapping up, Santa wanted to have the last word. He held up his fleshy arms to silence the media herd. "I just want to leave you with two words: 'Merry Christmas!'," he bellowed as his belly shook like a bowl full of Jello.
For once the media mob fell silent. No reporter objected. A few promised to write flattering stories about Santa Claus. Just kidding. This whole last paragraph is Fake News. But the remainder of the account is factually accurate as certified by the never reliable website Snopes.
An investigation was announced by Alabaster Snowball, the administrator of the Naughty and Nice List that Santa Claus relies on to decide which child's behavior merits toys. The diminutive Snowball claimed to have support from members of the Naughty and Nice Elf Committee.
At a hastily called hearing, Snowball alleged Santa secretly raised the behavioral standard to advantage kids with parents in the wealthiest one percent. Snowball revealed a whistleblower had overheard Santa making the request in a phone call to the Ukrainian born reindeer Blitzen.
Although Snowball did not divulge the identity of the whistleblower, Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer speculated the snitch was Wunorse Openslae, a disgruntled elf who serves on the committee. "Openslae has been hostile to Santa this entire year," Rudolph glowed with discontent.
Santa Claus took to social media to unleash a torrent of tweets slamming Snowball as a partisan hack. "Snowball has concocted a Snow Job. He's upset because he had to work overtime last year making toys because too many kids made the Nice List. Naughty SNOWBALL!," read one tweet.
The white-bearded Claus pledged to fulfill his Christmas duty by skipping the "sham" inquiry. A defiant Claus told a news conference: "I will guarantee every kid: "If you like your gift, you can actually keep your gift." Some considered the quote a slap at Santa's cousin Obama Claus.
A few news reporters tried to goad the merry man into responding to catty comments from fashion designers about Mrs. Claus's dated red and white outfit and her ample figure. "You journalists should look in the mirror before you body shame anyone," the roly-poly Claus retorted.
A reporter from the Washington Impeachment Post challenged Claus to release his medical records in light of reports about Claus' own weight gain. "My personal physician, Dr. Shirley O. Bese, said I have the body of a 1,749-year old man," answered Claus, who became a legend in 270 A.D.
During the session with news members, angry environmentalists outside began waving signs proclaiming, "Santa Supports Dirty Coal!" A spokesperson for the group accused Santa of polluting the atmosphere by giving naughty kids a lump of coal in their Christmas stockings.
"We demand Santa pay a carbon tax if he is going to continue to use coal," the spokesperson told shivering bystanders. The environmental protesters also pointed out Santa's sleigh was powered by reindeer, whose burping fouls the air across the world.
Donner was not amused. "Count me as a burp denier," the reindeer harrumphed. "Santa feeds all his reindeer a vegan diet. Now admittedly, a few order meals from Jenny Craig, but most of the reindeer are content to munch on plant food that tastes just like a Whopper."
Inside at the news briefing, a handful of illegal immigrants from the South Pole interrupted Claus and insisted their children deserved free toys at Christmas just like the local kids in North Pole. The clump of aliens produced drivers licenses proving they were citizens of New Jersey.
Claus directed the immigrants to discuss the matter with Shinny Upatree, the elf charged with barcoding each toy with the recipient's address before it is loaded on Santa's sleigh on Christmas Eve. Upatree appeared with two Icy Gents who ushered the immigrants out of the room.
With all the hullabaloo, Santa figured he needed to change the prevailing narrative. He tugged an index card from the pocket of his red coat and began reciting his recent achievements. Reporters and bystanders listened as Claus ticked off a list that included a record stockings market.
"Ever since last Christmas, sales of stockings to be hung by fireplaces have soared. The market is now up to 28,000 stockings for the year. No one ever imagined sales would reach such heights," bragged Santa. "And, I have added more jobs this year than any North Pole employer."
As the news conference was wrapping up, Santa wanted to have the last word. He held up his fleshy arms to silence the media herd. "I just want to leave you with two words: 'Merry Christmas!'," he bellowed as his belly shook like a bowl full of Jello.
For once the media mob fell silent. No reporter objected. A few promised to write flattering stories about Santa Claus. Just kidding. This whole last paragraph is Fake News. But the remainder of the account is factually accurate as certified by the never reliable website Snopes.
Monday, December 16, 2019
Memories of Christmases Past
Christmas always stirs memories of past family celebrations of this holy day. Many of you likely have the same experience, especially as we gain the retrospection of many seasons. There is something magical about retelling of our personal stories of long ago Christmases.
My earliest recollections are of Christmas visits to my grandparents, Gussie and Fernan Roy, in tiny Iota, Louisiana. My Mom and Dad would shoehorn seven kids and presents into our station wagon for the drive. Christmas music played on the car radio. Dad refereed the jostling kids in back.
Entering my grandparents house was a treat for the senses. The scent of a freshly cut Christmas tree. Big bright colored bulbs and icicles were eye candy. The tantalizing aroma of freshly baked cookies and fudge. The coziness of their house, warmed by gas space heaters with flickering flames.
That first evening of our arrival, my grandmother would nestle by the heaters and spin mesmerizing tales in her unique Cajun accent as her gaggle of grandchildren doted on every word. The stories were ordinary small town anecdotes but recited in a very extraordinary way.
The lilt in her voice, the twinkle in her eyes, the love shining through her narrative. I will always treasure memories of those tales, rich in cultural context and oozing with local color. That storytelling talent has been lost in the clutter of our digital age of 132 characters.
Apologies for the digression. Uncles, aunts and cousins would arrive the next day. The atmosphere was joyous, heartwarming. Peels of laughter, cheerful smiles and rabid discussions of college football. A bouquet of aromas filled the house as dinner was served on an long wooden table.
If I close my eyes, I can hear the grownup chatter around the table and smell the scent of the abundant trove of food. Most of you are conjuring up your own dinner memories. Few people today prepare an entire feast for the holiday because life's pressure cooker allows little leftover time.
Another Roy family tradition was a Christmas Eve junket to view outdoor decorations in our neighborhood and adjoining areas. Dad was tour director for his wide-eyed brood, who giggled at his often feisty commentary. At the end of one of these guided excursions, he announced to laughter:
"Next year, we are going to make a big sign and stick it in the front yard. There will be a bright spotlight on the sign, which will read: 'We think your Christmas decorations stink, too!" You had to know my Dad to fully appreciate his Cajun brand of humor.
My best Christmas gift from Santa Claus? That's an easy one. The year--I think I was six or seven--I discovered a Lionel electric train under the tree on Christmas morning. The engine puffed smoke and tooted its whistle. I grew woozy just watching it chug around the oval track for hours at a time.
In fact, Mom decided the train possessed sleep aid properties. She would prop my brother Bob, a toddler at the time, in a chair and ask me to crank up the train. After a few laps, he was sound asleep. I never understood why Big Pharma did not patent Lionel Trains as a sleep drug.
After 73 Christmas mornings, there is one that stands out above all others. The year was 1977 and our youngest son Derek had only recently entered the world on a snowy December 6 in frigid St. Louis. He arrived in the midst of one of the worst blizzards in the city's history.
It was the first Christmas with both our sons Dean, 18 months, and Derek. I can still see Dianna, snuggled in a robe, huddled next to the Christmas tree, clutching Derek in her arms while Dean gazed down at his brother. The tenderness of that one moment reminded me of the meaning of Christmas.
Like Mary, Dianna cradled a newborn babe on Christmas Day. Our small house was not fit for a King, nor was that manger more than 2,000 years ago. It didn't matter. Like Mary and Joseph, we were overjoyed at the sight of our new son, swaddled in a blanket on a shivering morning.
When things get hectic during the holidays, my thoughts drift to that Christmas. The vivid memories keep me grounded in what is really important at Christmas. It is not about the tree, the presents or even the twinkling lights. Christmas is about the birth of a Son who would change the world.
Jesus remains the best gift every Christmas.
My earliest recollections are of Christmas visits to my grandparents, Gussie and Fernan Roy, in tiny Iota, Louisiana. My Mom and Dad would shoehorn seven kids and presents into our station wagon for the drive. Christmas music played on the car radio. Dad refereed the jostling kids in back.
Entering my grandparents house was a treat for the senses. The scent of a freshly cut Christmas tree. Big bright colored bulbs and icicles were eye candy. The tantalizing aroma of freshly baked cookies and fudge. The coziness of their house, warmed by gas space heaters with flickering flames.
That first evening of our arrival, my grandmother would nestle by the heaters and spin mesmerizing tales in her unique Cajun accent as her gaggle of grandchildren doted on every word. The stories were ordinary small town anecdotes but recited in a very extraordinary way.
The lilt in her voice, the twinkle in her eyes, the love shining through her narrative. I will always treasure memories of those tales, rich in cultural context and oozing with local color. That storytelling talent has been lost in the clutter of our digital age of 132 characters.
Apologies for the digression. Uncles, aunts and cousins would arrive the next day. The atmosphere was joyous, heartwarming. Peels of laughter, cheerful smiles and rabid discussions of college football. A bouquet of aromas filled the house as dinner was served on an long wooden table.
If I close my eyes, I can hear the grownup chatter around the table and smell the scent of the abundant trove of food. Most of you are conjuring up your own dinner memories. Few people today prepare an entire feast for the holiday because life's pressure cooker allows little leftover time.
Another Roy family tradition was a Christmas Eve junket to view outdoor decorations in our neighborhood and adjoining areas. Dad was tour director for his wide-eyed brood, who giggled at his often feisty commentary. At the end of one of these guided excursions, he announced to laughter:
"Next year, we are going to make a big sign and stick it in the front yard. There will be a bright spotlight on the sign, which will read: 'We think your Christmas decorations stink, too!" You had to know my Dad to fully appreciate his Cajun brand of humor.
My best Christmas gift from Santa Claus? That's an easy one. The year--I think I was six or seven--I discovered a Lionel electric train under the tree on Christmas morning. The engine puffed smoke and tooted its whistle. I grew woozy just watching it chug around the oval track for hours at a time.
In fact, Mom decided the train possessed sleep aid properties. She would prop my brother Bob, a toddler at the time, in a chair and ask me to crank up the train. After a few laps, he was sound asleep. I never understood why Big Pharma did not patent Lionel Trains as a sleep drug.
After 73 Christmas mornings, there is one that stands out above all others. The year was 1977 and our youngest son Derek had only recently entered the world on a snowy December 6 in frigid St. Louis. He arrived in the midst of one of the worst blizzards in the city's history.
It was the first Christmas with both our sons Dean, 18 months, and Derek. I can still see Dianna, snuggled in a robe, huddled next to the Christmas tree, clutching Derek in her arms while Dean gazed down at his brother. The tenderness of that one moment reminded me of the meaning of Christmas.
Like Mary, Dianna cradled a newborn babe on Christmas Day. Our small house was not fit for a King, nor was that manger more than 2,000 years ago. It didn't matter. Like Mary and Joseph, we were overjoyed at the sight of our new son, swaddled in a blanket on a shivering morning.
When things get hectic during the holidays, my thoughts drift to that Christmas. The vivid memories keep me grounded in what is really important at Christmas. It is not about the tree, the presents or even the twinkling lights. Christmas is about the birth of a Son who would change the world.
Jesus remains the best gift every Christmas.
Monday, December 9, 2019
Christianity Under Attack Worldwide
The pious global news cartel has been strangely silent about the growing hostility towards Christians, especially in Muslim majority countries. Undoubtedly, persecution of Christians does not fit the media's politically motivated narrative of Muslim victimhood, which explains the news blackout.
The latest Pew Research Center study confirms that Christian groups were harassed in 144 nations, a nearly 13 percent increase over the previous year. Their findings are supported by United Kingdom sponsored research reporting cases of mushrooming violence against Christians.
The research documents that Christians, not Muslims, are most persecuted for their faith than any religious group on Earth. Despite the evidence, the American media has been relentless in its coverage of China's repression of one million Uighur Muslims in China, triggering a U.S. response.
The Trump Administration recently weighed in, condemning the "brutal campaign of repression" against the Uighur minority. Meanwhile, Christian minorities in Muslim countries such as Nigeria, are slaughtered by the thousands and driven from the homes without an official U.S. rebuke.
The media turns a blind eye to Christian massacres, beheadings and imprisonment. Even Christian leaders, including the Catholic hierarchy, are too timid to sound the alarm, afraid the politically correct elitists and cultural luminaries will disapprove of their stance.
Their acquiescence has allowed the media and Muslim apologists to own the narrative about religious persecution. Christians leaders must accept part of the blame for the ongoing exponential growth of government crackdowns on Christianity in virtually every corner of the globe.
For example, in 2017 China's President Xi Jinping approved new Draconian regulations clamping down on so-called "religious extremism." In its wake, Christian leaders and members have been arrested. Many have been dispatched to "re-eduction" camps. Official churches have been shuttered.
Despite the reprisals, religious organizations claim there remain tens of millions of underground churches that have eluded government detection. Many of these "churches" are in private homes. President Xi now has those churches in his crosshairs in his scheme to end religious worship.
Despite China's very public move against Christianity the subject has never been broached in trade negotiations with the Communist regime. The Christians in China have lacked support from global governments because economic issues outweigh religious freedom considerations.
A report commissioned by the British Foreign Secretary this year delivered a somber warning that the pervasive persecution of Christians in many cases now amounts to genocide. The report mentioned specifically the Middle East, where millions of Christians have suffered some of the worst horrors.
The UK report cites evidence of kidnappings, imprisonment and naked discrimination often driven by state authoritarianism. Corrupt leaders of many countries tacitly sanction violence against Christian groups as a government policy, which emboldens its citizens to brutalize Christians.
In sync with these governments, Muslim religious leaders preach hate of Christians, especially in countries such as Iran and Saudi Arabia. The propaganda of bigotry reinforced by clerics creates a religious intolerance that spreads throughout a country, poisoning minds for generations.
UK Secretary Jeremy Hunt added; "What we have forgotten in this atmosphere of political correctness is actually the Christians that are being persecuted are among the poorest people on the planet. In the Middle East, the populations of Christians used to be about 20%; now it's 5%."
In majority Muslim countries, Christians are being forced to evacuate in droves. The population of Palestinian Christians has dropped from 15% to 2%. In the Middle East and north Africa, the population has fallen to less than 4%. This is a deliberate form of genocide that has been ignored.
Even the research data does not adequately capture the brutality of crimes against Christians. On Easter Sunday in Sri Lanka, 250 people were killed by suicide bombers. In Egypt and Libya, Christians have been beheaded, their homes burned to the ground and their churches desecrated.
Journalists have reported 47 documented cases of desecration of churches in France this year. In Germany, three-fourths of resettled Christian refugees report they have been persecuted by Muslim immigrants. The number of attacks on Catholic churches in Europe has spiraled 25 percent this year.
Christian religious leaders must start demanding global action. They also have a duty to motivate billions of their followers worldwide to spur their governments to be accountable for religious freedom. Pray the leaders don't dally so long there are no more Christians left to save.
The latest Pew Research Center study confirms that Christian groups were harassed in 144 nations, a nearly 13 percent increase over the previous year. Their findings are supported by United Kingdom sponsored research reporting cases of mushrooming violence against Christians.
The research documents that Christians, not Muslims, are most persecuted for their faith than any religious group on Earth. Despite the evidence, the American media has been relentless in its coverage of China's repression of one million Uighur Muslims in China, triggering a U.S. response.
The Trump Administration recently weighed in, condemning the "brutal campaign of repression" against the Uighur minority. Meanwhile, Christian minorities in Muslim countries such as Nigeria, are slaughtered by the thousands and driven from the homes without an official U.S. rebuke.
The media turns a blind eye to Christian massacres, beheadings and imprisonment. Even Christian leaders, including the Catholic hierarchy, are too timid to sound the alarm, afraid the politically correct elitists and cultural luminaries will disapprove of their stance.
Their acquiescence has allowed the media and Muslim apologists to own the narrative about religious persecution. Christians leaders must accept part of the blame for the ongoing exponential growth of government crackdowns on Christianity in virtually every corner of the globe.
For example, in 2017 China's President Xi Jinping approved new Draconian regulations clamping down on so-called "religious extremism." In its wake, Christian leaders and members have been arrested. Many have been dispatched to "re-eduction" camps. Official churches have been shuttered.
Despite the reprisals, religious organizations claim there remain tens of millions of underground churches that have eluded government detection. Many of these "churches" are in private homes. President Xi now has those churches in his crosshairs in his scheme to end religious worship.
Despite China's very public move against Christianity the subject has never been broached in trade negotiations with the Communist regime. The Christians in China have lacked support from global governments because economic issues outweigh religious freedom considerations.
A report commissioned by the British Foreign Secretary this year delivered a somber warning that the pervasive persecution of Christians in many cases now amounts to genocide. The report mentioned specifically the Middle East, where millions of Christians have suffered some of the worst horrors.
The UK report cites evidence of kidnappings, imprisonment and naked discrimination often driven by state authoritarianism. Corrupt leaders of many countries tacitly sanction violence against Christian groups as a government policy, which emboldens its citizens to brutalize Christians.
In sync with these governments, Muslim religious leaders preach hate of Christians, especially in countries such as Iran and Saudi Arabia. The propaganda of bigotry reinforced by clerics creates a religious intolerance that spreads throughout a country, poisoning minds for generations.
UK Secretary Jeremy Hunt added; "What we have forgotten in this atmosphere of political correctness is actually the Christians that are being persecuted are among the poorest people on the planet. In the Middle East, the populations of Christians used to be about 20%; now it's 5%."
In majority Muslim countries, Christians are being forced to evacuate in droves. The population of Palestinian Christians has dropped from 15% to 2%. In the Middle East and north Africa, the population has fallen to less than 4%. This is a deliberate form of genocide that has been ignored.
Even the research data does not adequately capture the brutality of crimes against Christians. On Easter Sunday in Sri Lanka, 250 people were killed by suicide bombers. In Egypt and Libya, Christians have been beheaded, their homes burned to the ground and their churches desecrated.
Journalists have reported 47 documented cases of desecration of churches in France this year. In Germany, three-fourths of resettled Christian refugees report they have been persecuted by Muslim immigrants. The number of attacks on Catholic churches in Europe has spiraled 25 percent this year.
Christian religious leaders must start demanding global action. They also have a duty to motivate billions of their followers worldwide to spur their governments to be accountable for religious freedom. Pray the leaders don't dally so long there are no more Christians left to save.
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